Tuesday, February 16, 2021

The homebody...

 


Are you a homebody?

It's probably the most accurate description of me, my youngest daughter Blossom, my oldest daughter Kezzie, and my best friend Rosie. We really are homebodies, and we can all say that with no hint of dissatisfaction or a need to apologise. It's quite simply who we are and who we've always been.


I had a long phone chat with Kezzie yesterday morning, over numerous cups of tea and raspberry oat muffins. Though we are three states apart and may not see each other face to face for a long time due to Covid lockdowns and closed state borders, we still find a way to enjoy morning tea together. 

We talked a lot about how she and the boys are faring in a state that is almost always in lockdown or under restrictions and one thing she said really confirmed to me that we are very much alike. "Mumma, I don't think it affects me as much as it does many other people. I'm a homebody, you know that, and apart from the inconvenience of needing to shop sometimes and not being able to hop on a plane to come visit you and Blossom, we're really quite content nestled here in our home and garden."



This morning I was out shopping with Blossom and the three little ones; we do one big shop about every six or eight weeks and today was the day to gather and build on our supplies. A couple of hours in and it was time to stop for a cuppa and let the two girls play for a while in the little indoor farmhouse at the rather quiet shopping centre, feed little Charlie David, and grab a sandwich before heading off to another store for the next leg of our pantry gathering excursion.

As we sat and sipped chai lattes, Charlie well fed and snuggled against Blossom's shoulder, we talked of how Kezzie's love for home mirrored our own, and of the contentment we each feel taking care of our families, intentionally creating a sanctuary where they can relax and feel safe to be themselves, knowing they are loved unconditionally and listened to. 

All three of us love to be home and only venture out if we need to. We choose not to travel to and fro unnecessarily, nor seek to escape our home environment. Making home a place where we want to be, where our family want to be, has become a priority for myself and my dear daughters.


Each of us have been told by 'friends' at some stage that we shouldn't be tied to the home, that we should set ourselves free to go out and live life, build a career, travel etc.

Needless to say those friendships never lasted long. Whilst we are supportive of others who choose to live their dreams in their own way, it's sad when they can't support the choices we have made - as though we are 'less than' or as some have called us, 'stupid'. 


Since I was a little girl all I wanted was a husband, home and family. Since Kezzie was a little girl her only dream was to be a mummy. And since Blossom was a little girl her only desire was to be a mummy and homemaker. In different ways we have each fulfilled our dreams, and we have each supported and encouraged the other to flourish in the roles we chose for life. 

I was given such a hard time when we decided to homeschool the children, especially by teachers my husband worked with, but when Kezzie had her boys she too decided to homeschool and that to me was a confirmation that we'd done something right, something she wanted her own family to experience - and time has proven to her that she did the right thing as both boys (aged 20 and 13) appreciate the life she made for them. 



Blossom has had pressure from the other side of the family to put her children in care and build a career, but that's just not her. Motherhood, homemaking, being a wife who is 'there', these are the things which matter most to her, and it takes a lot of confidence to stand up to the naysayers but she does it with grace because she knows this path is right for her family. 

And I think that is what matters most.
Knowing your own heart, having a solid assurance and foundation on which to build the dream God placed within you from the start, a dream which not only offers personal contentment and satisfaction, but which nourishes the lives of those you love, those whom He has placed in your care. 



Am I saying women should not have a career? Not at all. If that is the way God has led you, then who am I to speak against you?

What I am saying is this - if you're a wife, a mother, a grandmother, then your first calling is to build a home, to be a homemaker. For some of us that means being home full time; or it could mean running a small cottage business from home as time allows whilst caring for your children (as Blossom does) or starting a small home-based business once the children have left home (as I do); it might be working part time outside the home to supplement income or because you enjoy your job, whilst at the same time finding great enjoyment creating a beautiful home environment for those who live with you. You may even be in full time employment yet a love for home holds your heart and when you're there you thrive and flourish creatively.


I am a wife, a homebody, a homemaker, a housewife, a mother, a grandmother, a business owner, a friend, and a daughter of the Most High God. I do not apologise for nor regret any of those roles or descriptions.

It took many years for me to shake off the doubts others would speak over my life choices, but once I found my courage and walked confidently in the convictions I held dear, all I felt was grace.



Grace towards others for their own choices, and grace from my Father above Who gently led me along a path which ultimately brought the greatest joy and contentment to my heart so that I never again measured myself by the world's standards.

I love home.
I love family.
I love Jesus. 
And I am a contented homebody.

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2

"But godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Timothy 6:6

Dear one, regardless of your occupation, location, life situation, age or financial position - pour love into the space you call home, let it be a place your heart is content to be, where the atmosphere draws hearts together and nourishes the soul. And if you think this will be too hard for you, seek the help of God who loves you dearly, for He will answer your call.

Love and hugs

35 comments:

  1. Great post Jenny. I'm a homebody too. When people ask me what I do, I say I'm a housewife. I hate it when asked the same thing for a form or something, they write down home duties. I make them change it as I told them I was a housewife. They look at you like you're mad! I feel very lucky that I was able to stay home to look after my family, especially when my boys were young. xx

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  2. I am definitely a homebody. Our family was similar with lockdown not being much different that "normal" life, with the exception of me not going to work. I loved it that my Mum chose to be home with us during our growing up years (and still is). My sister-in-law has chosen to do the same with their children.

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  3. I am definitely a home body I grew up with a mum who had to work to support us in a sewing factory. My mum loved being home when she was and she worked hard to sew, and cook and preserve and caning and garden and teach us all how to do those very things at young ages. I went to college and worked as a nurse full time until I had my second child then I became a stay at home mom/wife . My children are my world they still are . The last couple years of high school my daughter switched to a online home school. We loved it and wished we had made the switch many years before.. I am definitely a homebody I crave for days and weeks to be at home .

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  4. Going "against the grain" of thought of what and who a woman should be can be hard when it's family who thinks, well, you're nuts. I wanted to be a teacher when I "grew up" but it wasn't until I was in my 40s that this happened. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom which happened in my 30s. By the Grace of God, I ended up homeschooling my family all the way through their high school years. My oldest now homeschools her 5. The other 2 are where God has placed them. Nice to know I'm not so nuts after all. :-)

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  5. Great post! I worked outside the home for over 30 years, while longing to be at home. I’ve been home for 5 years now and love it! I’m truly a homebody!

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  6. Your posts are always uplifting and relatable. Thank you for being you.

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  7. Hi Jenny,
    I could write a lot about experiences, culture expectations, life lessons, what's expected, the " norm ", what other people think, what I learned along the way.
    What I's rather do is say THANK YOU for giving this way of life a strong positive voice on your blog !
    Love the photo's ! Is that stitchery a hint ?
    hugs and take care,
    Joanne

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  8. I've happily been a homemaker for 12 years but it wasn't until the last several years that I realized I was a homebody. The 2020 days of "house arrest" were actually a relief, as all meetings and commitments were postponed. It's amazing how four walls and a yard can be so fulfilling. I'm so glad that God let me work in my dream profession. :)

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  9. I too am a homebody. Your post was said beautifully . Thanks for making my day. xo

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  10. Jenny I too am a Homebody who has to work outside of the home full time. I found grace in your words as well as comfort. Thank you for sharing all that you are with us.

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  11. The only thing I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother, but things didn’t work out that way for me.

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  12. Homebody here too. I work 3 days a week, but my heart is at home. I love this post,Jenny.💞

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  13. I'm glad I was able to stay at home when my children were young. There was really no choice 70 years ago but I would hate to have had to put them into nursery to go to work. Homeschooling didn't feature at all those days and it's proving really difficult for many now especially if they have to work from home too. I think it's a lot easier to choose to stay at home, people are less critical of lifestyles now but it's another matter being able to afford to do it. As long as you and your family are happy that's what matters.

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  14. Hello Jenny, I always enjoy your special heartfelt messages! It is wonderous how they appear at the time when I need them the most and as you also can tell, so many others also need that special message. One of the fabulous things about your posts is that I never know if a special message will be in one of your posts as I read them all due to the fact that they all contain information that is one way or another a message of learning or of just listening and enjoying! I used to write you a message almost daily, then I began to understand that it was not needed. Somehow, the Lord always lets you know that what you share is important to each of us and to some of us very important on certain days. Thank you as always for sharing your special thoughts and blessings with us! May the Lord continue to Bless you and your family! Have a marvelous day!

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  15. Thank you for the great post! It was my dream as a toddler to be a mom and homemaker. That desire never went away, and I am living that dream. We have been blessed with 7 amazing children that I have been homeschooling from birth until the start college. I finished my bachelors degree a couple years ago because an amazing opportunity came along to attend school from home. The dream of finishing college has been met, but it wasn't so I could start a career. I love being home where I can focus on my husband, children, and our home. It is a very blessed life!

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  16. A great post! I've thought of myself as the happiest homemaker ever! I mean I just REALLY love it, always have, and could never understand those who didn't enjoy it but I guess it's all about putting yourself into it with all your heart. I'm struggling a little to adjust to our empty nest now but I think I'm coming around. I think it's hard to adjust to having just us two here to take care of--just the hubs to make happy...and me (and I'm not used to having so much "me" time!). But there is also the home itself to make happy--I had to slack off a little there when we got so busy with the kids' sports, school, etc. I'm not one for slowing down. And I've always valued myself as a homemaker by how much I accomplished--which was an insane amount when I look back. Of course, that's not the way to value oneself but there it was. Trying to change that mentality has been hard but I'm getting there. The satisfaction isn't in the amount you do but in the actual doing.

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  17. I'm a homebody but sadly am required to chase a career to provide for the family - oh well .... that's a tough blessing to managing I guess LOL. Mrs has recently retired and is totally relishing being at home.

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  18. Jenny, I'm a homebody. I worked outside the home and all the time I was wishing I could be home. Now that I'm retired I love just being home. Dee

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  19. You are only "stupid" when you allow those around you to sway you from your course!! I have had careers, I love to travel and explore the world (and now to meet those who have become friends via the internet), visit my children and friends, but I am also content to just be at home. I am blessed that the Lord has arranged it so I can do all that I cherish. The lock downs haven't affected me much either, except it makes it harder to get home. I don't understand why others push so hard to make us like them...variety is the spice of life and it would be boring if we were all identical! While I can enjoy friends discussing all the things they are involved in, I don't need the same to be content. Please pray for all those affected by the strong storms moving across the USA...two of my daughters (an grandchildren) have no power or water as the deep cold/snow/ice/wind blast some of the southern-most areas of the country. Those places aren't used to sub-zero (F) temps and aren't prepared to deal with them. It would be like you getting to 0 C (or below) with snow, ice and wind!!

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  20. One of the reasons I was glad to be called to education and teaching in the classroom was that I had summers and holidays with my children and could be the homebody I wanted to be full time, and couldn't. I could also build that kind of environment of love and acceptance and wonder in my classroom for children who often didn't have that kind of home. I feel so blessed to have spent 28 years having the best of both worlds, even though I would have been entirely happy being a full-time wife and mother and child of God. This is a beautiful post, Jenny. I'm so glad you three, and many more, also, have learned to listen to the voice God uses just for you. We cannot live by doing what others think we should or ought. We can only live by doing what God thinks we ought, and what makes our hearts sing.

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  21. What a heart-warming message! It felt like those words were written from my heart,...only you said it sooooo much better. Thank you!

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  22. Obrigada pelas belas palavras, amo meu lar, minha família, que Deus nos abençoe sempre🙏❤💋

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  23. I chose both. I started teaching, got married, stayed home as an Air Force wife, and then started teaching again so hubby could go to college. Home again for eight years, and then teaching again. I felt like I could be at home more with our sons when I taught. I loved both. Now after retiring in 2003, I am home to sew and do volunteer work--mostly sewing, knitting, and embroidery. It is wonderful that the Lord has allowed me to follow my dreams. God is good.

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  24. I am also a homebody and I love it. I have raised my two kids and now my husband and I are helping our daughter (single mom) raise our two beautiful grand children. No excuses have to be made here!

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  25. Well said!! Thank you so much for this heartwarming post:-))

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  26. Thank you for sharing this lovely post. I have tried to balance out work and home in various ways over the years, knowing that I love to work but mostly want to be a homemaker. As I face potential redundancy next month (because of Covid impact on our business) from a job that has allowed me to work from home I am struggling to know where to go next. There are limitations on the kind of work I can do because I have a small daughter with special needs and I feel my homebody heart struggling to make the "right" decision. Thank you for your lovely words.

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  27. I love being at home and we we had two months of lock down last April/May in Brisbane I loved having my teenagers at home 24/7. No driving them everywhere, off working etc. it was nice to be able to hang around the house with them for a change. The expectation is now that once your kids are in prep you should be back in the workforce. It was only one generation basically where most of the mothers were at home raising the kids [ie my Mum's generation] yet now society has a negative opinion on Mothers who don't work and it jolly upsets me. Once Mum's go off to work they still have to run the household which then means, more take aways, perhaps a cleaner because they are too busy working, less time with the kids etc. so whilst they earn money, it also costs money to work. There is public transport and/or petrol to get to work, coffees, lunches etc. Woman at home don't earn money however they are on 24/7, generally no holidays ie if they go away with the family, they are mothering, cooking etc. just in a different location where as say the Dad would be on holidays. Then there's the whole school holidays. Adults get 4 weeks a year so if 2 parents work there is 8 weeks holiday. Kids are home 12 weeks holiday plus add 2 weeks for sick leave and that's 14 weeks kids are at home. I loved when mine were little on school holidays we would be in our pjs's until mid morning instead of out of the house at 7am and into morning school care on school holidays. Being at home raising kids is so valuable however our society I feel tries to imply that you should be working. It's great if some people love their careers and are not home bodies however like you, we are big contributors by being at home.

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  28. Hi Jenny. I too am such a homebody. I have always been and was a stay-at-home mom for my five children. They have all grown and have families of their own now but the three middle ones live within walking distance and even though Covid is keeping us at a distance they still visit with their little ones in our backyard. My husband and I are very fortunate. With my youngest and my eldest, there is always facetime or skype. I feel sorry for those who have no hobbies. It must be such a hardship to have to stay at home day after day. A hobby keeps the hands occupied and the mind healthy.

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  29. Lovely post Jenny. I have enjoyed this year of lockdowns and self isolation, it has been a chance to enjoy my home and garden properly without constantly rushing to catch up. I have no intention of returning to 'normal' when restrictions ease. But everyone is different and I know that for some the last year has been extremely difficult - lack of space, finacial worries or just social people suffering from a lack of contact with friends and family. We are very fortunate I know. xx

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  30. I worked for several years after my middle son was born. When I was getting clothes ready for the expected delivery of my youngest my middle son asked where I got all the baby clothes I responded that they were his when he was a baby. His response, “I didn’t know you were my mom when I was a baby.” I quit my job after my youngest son was born. It was the best thing I ever did. Thank you for your posts that affirm the importance of staying with our families.

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  31. Thank you for the affirmation that loving my home and all therein is ok. I get comments about having stuff.Too much stuff.But my stuff makes me happy.It is tidy and it is arranged so I can and do use it. I am a homebody also and since my husband died in 2016 I have stayed home.Not as a recluse just didn't need or want to go.
    Going out when necessary.
    So when covid happened it really was not much difference for me.
    In my 74 years I had home businesses while the kids were young. This statement you made also fits my way. Thanks for sharing it. Blessings on you and yours. Judith
    "I am a wife, a homebody, a homemaker, a housewife, a mother, a grandmother, a business owner, a friend, and a daughter of the Most High God. I do not apologize for nor regret any of those roles or descriptions.

    It took many years for me to shake off the doubts others would speak over my life choices, but once I found my courage and walked confidently in the convictions I held dear, all I felt was grace."

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  32. Yo deseo que cada mujer pueda tomar su propia decisión: Una quiere ser ama de casa, que lo sea. Otra quiere llevar una carrera, que la lleve. Yo me siento muy molesta cuando me dicen "Tú no trabajas" . Yo trabajo mucho y muy duro para mi familia. Pero a veces solamente Dios lo ve. Me gustaría que mi trabajo de ama de casa fuese apreciado, pero me basta que dios lo ve. Eso es suficiente para mi. Abrazos. Que Dios te bendiga.

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  33. I so enjoy everything you read. As I read I'm smiling,nodding, crying, and praying. On this blog I hope you can answer my question. You showed a fantastic picture of a red flower from a tree. It looked like it was in Hibiscus family. Just in case you don't have it here's my address: quiltyladyrr
    at gmail dot com. I live in Florida so the tree should grow here. Thanks.

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  34. I'm sure this is belated, but Happy, Happy Birthday, dear Jenny! Blessings on your new year! Thank you for sharing all your gifts with us. ♥♥

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It's always nice to receive feedback on a blog post, so *thank you* for taking time to comment!
I will try to reply via email unless you are a 'no reply blogger' which means you'll have to check for my reply in the comments. Of course, life is a rather hazardous activity, isn't it? So if I don't respond to your comment that's the reason why - life simply stepped in...
hugs
Jenny
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