Sunday, November 18, 2018

Trust in the waiting...


Have you found that there are seasons in your life which require a time of waiting? Sometimes the wait is but a few hours or perhaps a day, but there are also the challenging and frustrating seasons where we find ourselves immobilised indefinitely, especially with regards to spiritual matters.

Being patient in a long wait is to me the hardest part of all. Initially I am fine, but as the months roll by and the haze before me refuses to clear I can begin to doubt myself, even doubt that God is doing something behind the veil of my ignorance, and in those few seasons where my heart hit the floor more than once I've even felt myself drawn deep into the valley of depression.

Waiting for answered prayer over a long period of time can be hard and if that prayer has worn your knees into the carpet then you may well have experienced those same moments of doubt, despair or frustration - perhaps even walked the valley floor.

I've been contemplating a few yearned-for answers lately, questioning whether they are 'pipe dreams' or if I've been too focused on having God work things out my way that I've lost sight of His sovereignty, His love for me and those I pray for, and the knowledge that His way will very likely look different to the one I've been suggesting all this time. 

I'm a woman whose mind and habits are the result of a lifetime lived with both good and bad experiences, so the way I imagine a particular prayer should be answered is quite often tainted by an emotional need. And one should never trust in emotion as it's borne from both tragedy and triumph, humility and pride, even hormones and relationships, which will make it unbalanced much of the time. Often this has been my undoing.

Just as dawn brought a glimmer of light today, I slipped out back to the swimming pool and stepped down into the water until I was lost under the crystal clear surface. There was a very real sense of washing the world from my mind. Lately my nights have been restless as I pondered many things in prayer and sought the answers I felt my soul needed, but as my body became one with the salt water it was Psalm 42 which came to mind...

As the deer pants for the water, so my soul cries out to You.

The red flames of the poinciana tree next door leans beautifully over our fence and floating on my back it was all I could see painted across the clear blue sky. Then the beautiful hymn taken from Psalm 42 which I'd often sang in church filled my heart and then fell from my lips. 

The tree, the water, the Psalm, the song.
My burden was lifting ever so gently as only He can do.
And then I knew.
Even in the waiting, even in the shadow which steals my clarity, even in the unknowing, He is with me. It's okay. My answers will come when Father God has done all that needs doing, and they will come in His perfect time.

Because I can trust Him.
Because my soul thirsts for Him above all else.
And I can trust Him.

hugs


11 comments:

  1. How precious and true. Timely reminder thanks Jenny.

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  2. Amen amen amen....thank you darling girl, and thank You Lord.

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  3. Very well-phrased, Jenny. This post applies to all of us. I have had these same thoughts and feelings.

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  4. Amen!! Only God knows how every facet of our life's puzzle needs to go together and how our pieces fit with every other puzzle piece. Our patience is sorely tested when God doesn't not answer our prayers the way we want, when we want! I am reminded of your disappointment and sadness when you thought you had found the "home of your dreams" and it ran into problems...God had the perfect home for you, but you just needed to be patient and wait for that particular fruit to ripen; the glorious day you had the keys to the home beyond your dreams was so very sweet, because you were patient and allowed the fruit to ripen. We humans are so very short-sighted compared with the long sight of our great God.

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  5. Also a string of amens from me, Jenny. Too, I've had to realize and accept that sometimes the answer is no and know that His will must and should be supreme. Thank you for this post.

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  6. Somewhere in all my learning about the things the God wants me to know, I found after learning He likes persistance that when we pray and keep at it, we build a monument and only He knows when it is complete. So trust is the issue we have. I do trust Him and if He chooses to slay me I am ok with that. Honorried in fact if it happens. I hope you can find a way to weather the seasons, I choose daily to rejoice in them and pray for you too. Be Well. Thank you for all you share with us.

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  7. Thanks for the wise words to remind me that God's timing is right and as we wait He sends blessings of peacefulness along the way.

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  8. Bless you, Jenny. Your words spoke to my soul this morning.

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  9. Jenny, thank you so very much for sharing your personal spiritual thoughts. I hope you realize what a gift you are to me and so many others. May God continue to bless you and guide you through your walk with him.

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  10. Yes, and yes, and yes. =) I wish I felt the peace and the trust all the time, but it comes and goes, even though I try to bend my will to His. It's still a blessing when it comes.

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It's always nice to receive feedback on a blog post, so *thank you* for taking time to comment!
I will try to reply via email unless you are a 'no reply blogger' which means you'll have to check for my reply in the comments. Of course, life is a rather hazardous activity, isn't it? So if I don't respond to your comment that's the reason why - life simply stepped in...
hugs
Jenny
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