Housekeeping and heart keeping...

Recently I've taken a little time to look carefully around our home at the areas which need to be re-organised, freshened, simplified and thoroughly scrubbed. 

Spring is here in Australia and perhaps that was the prompt to step away from the busyness of business and blogging to refresh things at home, but more than likely it was the Lord's direction because He alone knows exactly what lifts my heart and draws it closer to Him. It may not be what draws you closer, but being a homemaker is number one in my heart and when I begin to drift away from routines and the delight of 'making home' I lose some of my natural joy and then subtle, but very real roots, of overwhelm and bitterness can begin to break through into my thoughts.

These past couple of weeks I've followed through on many overlooked tasks and stayed the course to complete bigger ones as well. As the days passed, it began to feel as though burdens were being lifted, light shone through the shadows, and my delight and personal sense of satisfaction increased.

I even went through years of Elefantz files one day, and though our living room looked like my office had exploded and cast documents in every direction, by later that night the paper shredder had earned its keep and the compost bin was loaded with the remnants of many years outdated work. Order had returned and a new spring came into my step in preparation for what comes next. 

You know, it was pure joy to brighten and declutter our living space and I did so with gusto, but the more I gave my time to these home based tasks the more I began to ponder how much more important it is to give our spiritual lives a seasonal spring clean too.

Re-organise...

Have we crowded our lives with so many 'extra' relationships, hobbies, media and social commitments that time in heartfelt prayer and meditation on God's word has been pushed aside or given only a cursory few minutes each day?

Write out all the things that fill your day to day life. Cross out the things you can (or should) drop, take note of which ones can be scaled back, and underline the things that deserve more focus and diligence. Organise your days to include special one on one time with your Heavenly Father.

Freshen...

What bores you about walking out your faith? It's okay to admit this because most of us at some time fall into a rut with our Bible reading and Scripture studies - even our prayer life can feel stale for a season or two. Have you forgotten what that first love with Jesus felt like and how you simply couldn't get enough of Him?

Buy yourself a fresh new Bible and a great book study, then make a regular time each day to light a candle, brew a cuppa, and settle in with Jesus for some inspirational "He and thee" companionship. Start with just 15 minutes if you're time poor and I assure you, your heart will soar and you'll feel His pleasure because He loves to spend time with you. Write out a verse that stood out to you and stick it on your fridge door. Read it every time you open the fridge door that day and ask Him to reveal deeper understanding of it to your own life.

Simplify...

Don't put off time with God because you falsely believe you need to get face down for hours and pray with heavy tears and angst whilst reciting all the Psalms. Okay, maybe that's an exaggerated example, but many people think if they can't give God an hour or three each and every day then they have failed Him and may as well not even try.

Jesus showed us simple love, simple faith, simple prayer. Often I go through a season of just reading His word and nothing else, and honestly, some days I can't get past two or three verses because there's so much to ponder in them, so much to consider in light of my own life and values. If you're overwhelmed by the thought of reading the whole Bible or doing a Christian book study, step back, open at the first Gospel and just read until you want or need to stop. Maybe you'll read a chapter, or perhaps a verse, but rest in the beautiful simplicity of Him speaking directly to you through pages written from Love.

Scrub...

This is the hard one. Have you pulled away from God because there's sin in your life that you just don't want to face or repent of? Maybe you wish His Word would miraculously change and 'update' for the 21st century so you can accept the ever increasing world view which runs in opposition to the Bible and it's clear and undiluted truths? Perhaps you believe you've committed sin that He just couldn't possibly forgive you of so you've veiled yourself with shame and cannot face Him again?

Only God knows the full scope of our sins so laying them before Him open-handed, open-hearted, contrite and repentant - even when we don't understand or agree with His ways - is the only option we have to be scrubbed clean and set free from the burdens that have weighed down our spirit and separated us from falling into His open arms and knowing the full measure of LOVE He will pour out on our lives. Sin is muddy and over time it distorts our view of who He really is. The longer we wait to stand under His heavenly shower of forgiveness, the heavier our heart and the weight of shame we carry. And He will forgive ALL your sins because He does not lie, so don't hide from Him anymore. Run. He will catch you, He will heal your sorrow and your shame with the blood of His Son and you will arise whiter than snow, scrubbed clean, redeemed and forgiven. And He will remember your sin no more.

Is it your time for some spiritual housekeeping?

May your day be blessed with every good thing the Father knows you need,

hugs

The effects of neglect...

The other day I decided to look around my home and make a list of things which could be updated, changed, removed or added to. After consulting with hubby we went off to investigate a few things at the local hardware, arranged for a plumber to come by, and decided upon the basics for a kitchen makeover later in the year. Everything with us is long term because plans need to come together piece by piece, and we also prefer to have the finances saved before we embark on projects.

One simple thing I could do to update our living space was begin to sew new cushion covers, table runners, chair covers, curtains, lap quilts, and hoops filled with embroidered pieces etc. Apart from curtain fabric and sturdy chair covering fabric I have everything needed to make fresh furnishing right in my sewing room.

Those words the Lord gave me early in the year "use what you already have" continue to ring loud and clear in so many areas of life, and now I'm taking them to heart with what I make for our home and also through a new set of tutorials I've begun to share with you.

The other day I completed a square table topper, the pattern chosen after browsing this ebook I purchased from Martingale a little while ago. 

It has many small quilt projects from a variety of designers and after I'd chosen three and printed the patterns out I got started on the first one, June Bug, by Camille Roskelley (the mini quilt at the bottom right of the cover).

I have more Tilda scraps than anything in my stash and right now I'm rather partial to using only scraps and avoiding (as much as possible) cutting into yardage or fat quarters. 

Initially I imagined myself hand appliqueing the orange peel blocks because I always hand applique - but on a whim I opted to machine applique...which set off a series of events that may have caused me to wince in frustration more than a few times.

Now I appreciate that many of you love to machine applique, my friend Allie especially loves it, but honest, I do not. Sigh.

I had no end of issues with skipped stitches and what felt like relentless unpicking - just on my practice block - but I pushed on because once on a path to learn something I generally follow through. And I'm really glad I did because a problem came to the surface which I had been avoiding of late. 

All the stitch skipping was not the fault of my machine - it was mine. I'd overlooked giving my two year old Janome Skyline a CLEAN. And I'm not talking about not cleaning it for a month or two or even three.

I'm talking about not cleaning it for two years.

Gulp.

In my defence (not that I deserve any) 95% of my work is and always has been hand embroidery and only occasionally do I even switch on the machine, that is until a few months back.

After the original stitchery club came to a close, and after the weariness and stress of the floods in February, and then the long process to complete designing, stitching and sewing Phyllis May's Kitchen  I discovered a deep and growing enjoyment of creating week by week with my dear sewing machine.

Anyhow, mid way through appliqueing the orange peel shapes (could I have even picked an easier shape? Yet challenge me it did) I pulled the machine apart and spent a good hour apologetically and lovingly cleaning out an abundance of thread and fabric and wadding 'fluff' until the Janome's insides looked rather sparkly.

Needless to say the machine was a DREAM for the rest of the afternoon and never skipped a beat. 

I chose to add a white border around the quilt at this stage, the idea inadvertently coming from leaving the project (in it's above state) on my design board while I went off to make a cup of coffee.

Returning with tea cup in one hand and a date scone in the other I surveyed the design board and thought, "Well, that's a jolly nice idea for a finish! A narrow white border before I add the binding."

Funny how fresh ideas come along in the most unimagined ways.

So on went the white border and then I pondered the age old question for small quilts - hand or machine quilt??

I chose to hand quilt...

White Perle #12 thread in the ditch, another thing I rarely do as I prefer outline or echo hand quilting, but I like the gentle puffiness, the homeliness and completely unprofessional finish this gave.

A striped binding to finish the project and my version of the June Bug mini quilt was complete.

June Bug (which I'm renaming July Bug) is currently residing on the centre of our dining table and I'm auditioning plants to be displayed on top. 

Have the feeling a pretty, soft fern will be nice so I'll get one next week. In the meantime various plants are being moved in and shifted along each day. 

You know God never wastes an opportunity to teach me something, especially when I'm working through a housework, sewing, garden, cooking or business challenge, and He didn't waste my sewing machine oversight this past week either.

It's so easy to overlook what we do not see.

Like with my Janome, which for two years just kept stitching away whenever the mood struck me to play with it. I took it for granted, and even ignored the few instances when the thought "does it need a clean?" popped into my mind last year. I suppose I ignored that idea for so long that this year it never came up again … until I found the stitches were skipping, the threads were always tangling or shredding, and I was in a right old aggravated state and offering a few unworthy expletives.

We can be like that with God, you know.

Plodding along day by day assured of His love and existence but little by little forgetting to acknowledge Him, allowing ourselves to be distracted from His Word by the lure of the internet, social media, sewing groups, shopping days, coffee catch-ups and any number of 'attractions' our flesh prefers.

Then a trial comes along and we're on our knees begging Him to help. 

Our faith has diminished, our hope not as strong as it once was, and even though we want Him to intervene we also demand He does it our way so we can be given the result we want. 

Humbling ourselves is forgotten and the peace which surpasses all understanding seems to elude us.

When we choose the attractions of the world over time spent right in God's holy presence, when we would rather read a Facebook post, a novel or a gossip magazine instead of the Bible, we are in dangerous territory.

Not maintaining our blood-bought intimate relationship with the Lord will always eventually catch us unprepared for the trials which come across our path - and everyone faces trials, especially when they least expect them. I don't want to be a woman who shakes her fist at God because life is unravelling before me and fearful lonely feelings are closing in - I've been her in the past and she's not someone I want to become again.

No, I choose to maintain a close day to day walk with Him and to offer my heart for an infilling of understanding and wisdom as I read my Bible every morning and at other times during the day. Some days I do get distracted, that's the truth, but those days are rare and I feel nothing but relief and sanctuary next morning when I go sit with my Bible in solitude with our loving Heavenly Father.

What about you?

Is your relationship with Jesus in need of some long overdue maintenance?

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." James 4:8

That's a promise God makes to you, and He never breaks His Word. 

May your blessings be bountiful in grace, mercifully miraculous, and sprinkled with gentle peace.

Hugs

How's your root system?

Perhaps it was the clear blue sky morning, or maybe watching my husband head out back to do more renovations around the shed...or maybe it was simply the gentle prod of the Holy Spirit?

Probably the Holy Spirit using both to prod me into a time of separation, though not in the way you may imagine.

Yesterday we'd driven north of town to an older woman's home where she grew, tended and sold healthy fruit trees, shrubs and indoor plants right out front of her vine laden verandah. Much of her skillfully tended stock sat in water baths under a huge sway of shade cloth, something we use a lot of here in the tropics to prevent tender plants from burning their leaves or even shriveling away to nothing due to the intense heat and scorching sun of late spring, summer and early to mid autumn.

We chose some medium size citrus trees we'd like to plant and arranged to come back next weekend with the trailer to take them home, but I also spied a beautiful indoor plant for the front entrance that wasn't too large to fit in the back of Jeep so we were able to take it straight away. I left it in hubby's shed overnight, still undecided as to which ceramic glazed pot I could transplant it into before bringing into the house next day.

By breakfast this morning the sky was clear and bright, the air hot and humid, but my husband is not one to let weather stand in his way and so off he went to the back of our 1/4 acre and continued demolishing the structures which need to be removed. 

Before attending to the new plant I decided to brave the sun and do a tidy up of all our potted plants which sheltered in various garden beds and along the undercover area at the back of the house. They all needed water and fertiliser, and some required a bit of a prune too. Once that was done I went inside for a cool drink of water and whilst leaning against the kitchen bench my eyes fell upon two very crowded little pots that have followed us from house to house for a number of years. I'd bought each at different times to decorate a coffee table, book shelf or even the dining table...they've been moved around as the mood or new home arrangement required yet never, until this morning, had I taken a good hard look at how crowded these very small 5" diameter shallow pots were. 

Each pot had three different plants crammed together, and though there were some green leaves and shoots to observe, each plant was obviously losing the fight for dominance in it's particular pot as many of the leaves were broken, blackened, withered, frail or very dry and brown. 

And that's when it happened. 

That's when I walked through each room of the house and one by one carried all the indoor plants outside for some timely love and care. 

I rummaged through the various pots we had in the shed and selected a few, gathered a good indoor soil mix, fertiliser, my gloves and the watering can, a few small garden tools and the large outdoors broom because I knew mess would be involved!

One by one I removed all the plants from the six pots and discovered more root systems than I thought would be possible. The tangle of different roots were carefully separated from the two 'triple plant' pots which now gave me six individual plants, so I trimmed away the unhealthy sections and re-potted all of them in the rich organic soil with unhindered space to grow before giving a thorough watering and leaving the six of them in shade out back until the sun moved over to touch them an hour or so later.

I also discovered that my other four (single) indoor plants had become quite root bound and could easily be divided into several new plants each, so again I re-potted everything, trimmed away unhealthy sections, fertilised, watered and left them under shade with the others.

My original rather poorly six pots of indoor had now become fourteen rather sprightly ones, and as I stood back and looked over the abundance before me the Lord showed me a lesson in life that was obviously needed.

Each day, each week, each year, contains a certain amount of time with which to accomplish the things we must do, want to do, and hope to do.

You truly cannot fit more than 24 hours in a day, just as you cannot add an extra day to your week or another month to your year - yet how many times have you heard someone say "If only I had an extra hour in my day." 

Perhaps you were the one to lament not having more time?

When we cram more and more into our lives we run the risk of never finishing what we started, or at least not finishing it as well as we'd like. When our lives are filled to overflowing with home activities, groups, outings, the gym, lunch dates, coffee mornings, shopping, work, television, emails or social media we too often lose the quiet moments that allow us to fully appreciate all we have. We also become blind to how the overcrowding of our lives has affected our relationship with God and the people we care about, as well as our health - physical, spiritual, emotional and mental.

I never wish for more time, though I do often pray for less to do so I can enjoy the time already given me. But you know, I'd have less to do if I stopped long enough to examine my root system, trim away the excess, separate the overgrowth and fertilise with more of God'd Word and some gentle quite time.

Jesus said that unless we are branches connected to Him, our True Vine, we can do nothing.

So as I pondered all the distress and entanglement of my poor plant root systems today I had to ask "what state is my root system in?"

Am I a branch connected to the life giving vine who is Jesus or has the world tangled up my root system with too many expectations and a diseased belief of all I must accomplish in order to feel like I'm good enough?

Big question. Simple answer.

Now to be emptied, pruned, planted again in good soil, fertilised by grace, watered by the Word...and given space to breathe and grow.

How's your root system this year?

hugs

Letting go of the plans...

We have now seen another Christmas come and go and hopefully, like me, you shared that precious day of celebrating the birth of Jesus with those you love and cherish.

It’s the hearts whom we share that day with which matter most of all, and that is why I’ve always loved the saying ‘hearts come home for Christmas’. If only those emotions felt on the day could be carried with us the other 364 days of the year, like the warmth that fills our heart as we stand singing carols with a child’s arms wrapped round our waist. Wouldn’t the year be something rather special all the way through if we did? A thought to ponder.

With 2019 just days away I am taking some time to reflect on the year that has gone, the major and minor changes, challenges and blessings which came with it – and I’m praising God that He did not tell me about most of them until they happened because I would have worried over more than a few.

Whilst it is fun to plan forward at the start of a new year, it can also be a way of setting ourselves up for future disappointment if those hoped for plans do not come to pass, and for me, already this past week I have had to adjust the plans which I recently shared with you (here) due to an unforeseen event which will affect how I maintain and grow my embroidery design business.

So I went to the Word for guidance and reacquainted my heart with Jesus’ instruction to not worry about tomorrow because we have enough to concern ourselves with today. I believe He was drawing our thoughts to the moment at hand, focusing our mind on the needs of this day and giving them precedence over what may come to pass tomorrow. After all, none of us can truly be assured that what we want to happen next week, next month or next year will even eventuate.

So it is in light of Jesus’ directions that I have chosen not to be dismayed at what has transpired this week but to look on it as an opportunity to begin afresh in 2019 and to follow His lead along this now slightly altered business path to the newness ahead.

What about you?

Has life offered up a rocky path lately; have the plans you made for next year come to a grinding halt even before you got to sing Auld Lang Syne at the stroke of midnight on the cusp of 2019?

I encourage you to let go with grace that which was and to open your hands to what is yet to be, trusting Jesus will be there guiding, loving and instructing you as you face whatever changes are to occur. He loves you. His plans for you, for me, are always for the best even when we cannot understand them. For now we look through a glass dimly…but one day all will be made clear.

As we step into a new year, may I encourage you to hold tightly to all that breathes life into your world, all that brings goodness and light, and all the relationships you wish to cherish and nurture. Open your heart to what is yet to come and let contentment flourish during your season of waiting.

On the flip side, as chaff is sifted from wheat, let go of the unnecessary; the superfluous; the things that rob you from living your best life; the things that hinder a closer walk with Jesus, and those dreams which were not meant to be.

And dear ones, may the Lord lift your heart with a happier and more blessed New Year than you could have planned for. 

hugs

EMMANUEL - free pattern...

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us..."

John 1:14a

This verse has been drifting in and out of my thoughts all week and I found myself constantly in awe as I pondered over and over again the Christmas message it declares.

For love, God left heaven and came to us as a child, born of a virgin, to dwell among us, to walk with us, to teach us, to heal us, to guide us back to truth...and eventually to die for us. 

Isaiah 7:14 prophesies the coming Messiah - "The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call Him Emmanuel."

Emmanuel means "God with us" and indeed that is what happened when Christ was born of Mary and made a life here on earth. Dwelling among us for 33 years Jesus lived and walked and breathed and died as a man yet He loved, healed, forgave, humbled, taught, and rose from the grave as only Emmanuel our Messiah could.

One of my very favourite songs from the past few decades is His Kingdom and as I pondered these thoughts on Friday I stood in the kitchen with arms raised and sang it with tears streaming down my face...the enormity of Who He Is and what He did overwhelming my heart. Nothing, nothing at all compares to Jesus and what He has done for me.

(listen or watch here)

I think those precious moments in God's presence, singing from my heart to His, inspired this simple design. Only words...but what marvelous words, powerful words, truth filled hope-fulfilled words!

May Jesus bless you as we move closer to the celebration of a Gift no other can equal, and though December 25th is not truly the day of Christ's birth it has become a day when we can choose to turn our thoughts from the way of the world and look up to Him who came down to walk with us. 

If there's one thing I could ask of you this Christmas and indeed every Christmas, it is this -

Keep CHRIST in Christmas.

Too many have forgotten, turned away from or discarded our Lord, but that baby in the manger was real and He truly is the Son of God, Emmanuel, the Saviour of the World.

Love came down to save us and Love's name is Jesus.

Celebrate and give glory to Him this Christmas season and teach the little ones how much He loves them and how blessed they are to have a friend in Jesus.

Download the free pattern here

(choose 'sort by newest' from the drop down menu)

In Christ alone,

Submitting to the plan...

There was a moment in time long before you were a blimp on the sonar nestled in your mothers womb when God delighted in the you which was yet to be formed.

There was a plan already written by the heart of God for your life.

There was a way you should go and a way you should not.

There was a love that has never dimmed, only brightened as you stepped forward into the promise of life He offered through faith in His only child, Jesus Christ.

There was a path prepared that only you could walk, for in creating you He had a purpose only you could fulfill.

Too often in life we're looking left and right at what everyone else is doing, at what appears to be popular, fruitful, beautiful, exciting, prosperous or healthful in another's life. 

But that's the key difference between you and them, me and you - we each have different lives, different God given callings, different strengths and weaknesses, different skills, different levels of understanding or numerous other dissimilarities.

It may seem as though someone else is blessed far more than you, but this is when we must ask ourselves "what describes a blessing?" After all, not all that seems good is a real blessing. What you or I may consider a blessing in a person's life may not be one in God's eyes because He can see beyond the superficial world to what lies beneath, to what dwells in the heart, to what lurks in the darkness, to what lies around the bend, to the cost that person may one day pay.

What you or I may see as a trial could be God's blessing to grow us, equip us for the calling ahead, or to teach us holy truths we'd never learn any other way. God's ways are not man's ways. God's ways are not even understood by man.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord.

(Isaiah 55:8)

So I ask you to consider these questions...

Yes indeed, God can give us immense blessings that send our hearts soaring but can you trust that there are blessings He brings into our lives which we despair of?

Can you trust His plan for you? Can you submit to the unique call on your life which He put in place before you were conceived, the individual path He asks you to walk along? 

Or...are you content not to rock the boat which holds your life as you choose it to be, not to make the changes He's impressing on your heart, not to be open about your Christianity, not to extend your faith and step forward into the mystery of where God will lead?

Works will not save us. Only faith in Jesus Christ can do that through the grace of God. But when we live our lives for Christ, when we hunger for His Word and spend time every day letting it teach and grow us, when we put into action the example of Jesus by how we behave and live our lives, then we will naturally step into those good works God prepared before we were born and do them.

Let's stop looking to the left and right at the lives of others and keep our eyes fixed solely on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, by following His call for our unique and God-gifted lives. Praise Him for we are wonderfully made and God doesn't make what He cannot use.

He wrote my life story and He wrote your life story. God does not need an editor to make changes, He only needs you and I to trust and obey that there is a blessing in it, beyond what we can imagine in this earthly life, a blessing which will lead us where only we can go.

Your sister in Christ,

Love and differences...

I’m an optimist, my husband is a pessimist. I’m too far one way and he’s too far the other – at times we balance each other out, yet at other times one of us can overwhelm the other. I love vintage, pre loved, recycled and don’t mind paying extra for something I love, whilst he prefers a very modern style and preferably new. Our music choices are different and whereas I enjoy eating pretty much anything he is very particular about what he wants to eat.

I love colour and he’s more of a mission brown guy. I can sit in a café and enjoy the experience for hours, but once his coffee and cake are eaten he’s ready to leave. And I could go on, but you get my point…

I suppose if you’ve been reading my blog for a number of years you may have drawn a picture in your mind of the relationship we two share and believe my beloved and I are of similar nature, have similar likes and dislikes and always agree. But that’s not the case.

From before our wedding we were challenged by God to walk in love with each other, to support and pray for each other, to put our spouse’s needs before our own, to surrender our battle line – and honestly, my husband was better than I at that for a while, but as the years rolled by those self-sacrificing choices and emotions and responses became part of our nature, ingrained and quite normal in this marriage of two very different people.

Yet within our differences are some rather wonderful similarities that the Lord used to bring us together. They silenced the warnings from many family and fellow Christians who predicted our marriage would never last because we understood each other better than they did, and we knew God was using the similarities to knit our hearts closer.

As infants we both lost our mothers, both had a negligible relationship with our fathers and both of us were raised by paternal grandparents. I am an only child and he was raised as an only child. Neither of us found making friends easy (to this day) and we both need a lot of alone time with our own thoughts and space to just be. Both of us love older people because we grew up with them and funnily enough we have many times rented a home next door to a widow whom we were able to help.

These similarities have worked as glue to bind us together, but the strongest glue we share is our love for Jesus.

I adore my man and he feels the same way about me. When he looks at me I see nothing but love and respect and honour in his eyes, and he sees this in my eyes for him. The closer we have walked with Christ, the longer we walk in His ways and accept correction and direction from His Word, the deeper our love grows and the more able we are to allow the other spouse to ‘be’ who God made them to be and not try to mold them into our own likeness. Sure it would be easy if our personalities were the same, but how would God grow us in those attitudes of love written in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8?

I can’t tell you that I’m always kind or understanding with my man, but I can say I try every day to choose God’s heart over my own and when it’s difficult I have learned to shut my mouth and pray for a better attitude, Holy Spirit understanding and personal humility. And you know what, God always comes through. When I let go of me and put on Christ then within a little while my heart response is moved to love this man I married more than I love my view of a situation. Surrendering self truly is a daily grace God offers us, and the reward is peace that surpasses all understanding.

I will never expect our relationship to be smooth sailing all the time, but with Jesus working in us we know the coming storms shall hear His voice calling, “Be still”, and it shall be so. That’s the assurance we hold to. That's the God we love and serve every day...

Bless you heaps,

Trust in the waiting...

Have you found that there are seasons in your life which require a time of waiting? Sometimes the wait is but a few hours or perhaps a day, but there are also the challenging and frustrating seasons where we find ourselves immobilised indefinitely, especially with regards to spiritual matters.

Being patient in a long wait is to me the hardest part of all. Initially I am fine, but as the months roll by and the haze before me refuses to clear I can begin to doubt myself, even doubt that God is doing something behind the veil of my ignorance, and in those few seasons where my heart hit the floor more than once I've even felt myself drawn deep into the valley of depression.

Waiting for answered prayer over a long period of time can be hard and if that prayer has worn your knees into the carpet then you may well have experienced those same moments of doubt, despair or frustration - perhaps even walked the valley floor.

I've been contemplating a few yearned-for answers lately, questioning whether they are 'pipe dreams' or if I've been too focused on having God work things out my way that I've lost sight of His sovereignty, His love for me and those I pray for, and the knowledge that His way will very likely look different to the one I've been suggesting all this time. 

I'm a woman whose mind and habits are the result of a lifetime lived with both good and bad experiences, so the way I imagine a particular prayer should be answered is quite often tainted by an emotional need. And one should never trust in emotion as it's borne from both tragedy and triumph, humility and pride, even hormones and relationships, which will make it unbalanced much of the time. Often this has been my undoing.

Just as dawn brought a glimmer of light today, I slipped out back to the swimming pool and stepped down into the water until I was lost under the crystal clear surface. There was a very real sense of washing the world from my mind. Lately my nights have been restless as I pondered many things in prayer and sought the answers I felt my soul needed, but as my body became one with the salt water it was Psalm 42 which came to mind...

As the deer pants for the water, so my soul cries out to You.

The red flames of the poinciana tree next door leans beautifully over our fence and floating on my back it was all I could see painted across the clear blue sky. Then the beautiful hymn taken from Psalm 42 which I'd often sang in church filled my heart and then fell from my lips. 

The tree, the water, the Psalm, the song.

My burden was lifting ever so gently as only He can do.

And then I knew.

Even in the waiting, even in the shadow which steals my clarity, even in the unknowing, He is with me. It's okay. My answers will come when Father God has done all that needs doing, and they will come in His perfect time.

Because I can trust Him.

Because my soul thirsts for Him above all else.

And I can trust Him.

hugs