I've heard women say that they've lost a part of who they once were over the course of their marriage, and I used to think that about myself too.
Spurred on by increasing social agreement on this matter I would lament for the adventurous, carefree girl I was in my teens and early twenties, and accepted that motherhood and marriage had taken that from me.
But I was wrong.
Becoming one half of a couple always involves change, even when you promise each other it won't happen.
There's no plan to make yourself more like your husband, or to make him more like you. It simply happens over time, as you draw closer to each other. We expand our heart and lives to include more of the one we love.
So we don't really lose who we once were, we become more than we used to be.
If our lives were a garden you could say we deepen our roots, scatter seed, bloom more profusely and spread our branches. We increase in who we are, having more to give, more to learn and more to be grateful for.
Also like a garden, marriage has seasons. Some seasons are dry and require more time and nurturing than others, but then spring arrives and you reap the fruit of your loving and faithful perseverance.
My husband came home the other night with a bouquet of flowers for me. It's not something he does as a matter of course so it deeply touched my heart and I felt very precious indeed.
He knows I love flowers and that every few weeks I'll fill a vase with pretty blooms purchased for myself...yet though it's not something he sees as essential, he's expanded who he is through the union of our marriage so that what matters to me, over time, becomes important to him.
That's why marriage changes us.
It grows us to include the best of each other.
Rather marvelous really.
Have a blessed day,