In everyone's life there come times of decision.
Some are big, perhaps even life changing.
Some are urgent and require an immediate response.
Others will be important but you have time to ponder your path.
Sometimes the choices we need to make are not as difficult as we think because it's our own anxieties about 'choosing' which lay at the root of our distress.
If the only person affected by a decision is myself then a choice usually comes easy, but I'm not a confident decision maker when others are involved.
Making decisions over big things with my husband feels like I have a mine field to cross because I want what's best for him, whilst he desires what's best for me. This clouds the terrain because neither of us is being completely open with the other about how we truly feel. Our love for each other means we are basing our decision on what we think the other would choose...and you know, too many times we have gotten that wrong.
We have a big decision to make at the moment and after praying that God would give me a sign (I was very specific about the sign) I was ready to sit back and see what happened, intent on going one way if God gave me the sign, or the other way if He did not.
And you know, as soon as I prayed that prayer I knew I'd done the wrong thing. I'd chickened out again from being honest with my husband and wanted God to be my voice. I'd also asked for a sign which really isn't what I personally believe is the right thing to do. (Matthew 12:39)
Repentant, I pondered this verse...
"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you."
God DOES want to be involved with this decision, He does care, but it requires me to humble myself before Him, lay this issue and all my cares about it at His feet, then trust Him to guide me into a decision that is right.
He also wants me to be open and truthful with my husband in sharing my concerns and my excitement about all the decisions we jointly need to make, now and in the future.
This morning I did just that.
Through the night it seems both Mr E and I had both been in God's counsel and after opening my heart in honesty about this decision over breakfast my dear husband agreed with my concerns and we both decided to close the door on that particular path, one we'd only yesterday imagined we'd follow.
Every day with Jesus is a lesson, a gift that washes away a little more of the old Jenny and her unbalanced ways.
He'll never fix everything in my nature this side of heaven, but while I'm still here He'll keep on changing me, renewing my mind, refining me so that one day His nature will shine through more than my own...because He cares for me.
And you know what?
He cares for you too.
Have a blessed week walking with Jesus,