You Lord are my shield - free pattern...

This verse is very dear to my heart because it's the one I memorized and held on to every day during a deeply difficult season in my life. These words of King David - describing our God as a shield, our Glory and the lifter of our heads - kept me from falling apart, so it was only natural I'd bring them to life with needle and thread.

Also around that time a sweet friend was diagnosed with breast cancer and knowing she had a fight ahead and was leaning on the Lord with all she had, I sent my completed stitchery to her as a mini quilt so she could hang it in her home and each day be reminded Who was holding her through that trial. Praise God she recovered and is still cancer free six years later.

Last week I was back in the Psalms and once again the power of love which flows from this verse took hold of my heart so I decided right then to stitch it again, this time to hang in my own home.

Praise the Lord this is not a season of trial at the moment, even though the issues from that dark time six years ago have not yet been resolved - but having these words of life on display at home lifts my heart to a safe place, a hopeful place, knowing that though times of trial will surely come again HE will carry us through.

Knowing WHO is my shield, WHO is my glory, and WHO is lifting my head when darkness tries to pull me down where I do not want to be, carries my heart and thoughts to safety and sanctuary. To God my Father. 

I've made a few little design changes to this new version of "You Lord Are My Shield" and I do hope you'll stitch it up for yourself or someone you know who may need it.

The pattern is my gift to you, but as Father God is my creative source you'll need to thank Him - after all, every good gift comes down from the Father.

DOWNLOAD THE PATTERN

I displayed my mini quilt quite simply, adding 1" lengths of aqua and pink tonal fabrics for borders and finishing with an envelope closure (something I'm rather fond of these days) and hand quilting in the ditch.

A burst of inspiration for a quilt hanger came about yesterday as I was cleaning this gorgeous jewellery tree that Rosie gave me a few years back...

See the tiny little bird perched atop a small branch?

I thought what if I tied the mini quilt to the branches with the wee birdie peeking out above?

You know, one of my favourite passages of Scripture since giving my life to Jesus twenty eight years ago is Matthew 10:29-31, so how appropriate that a 'sparrow', reminding me how much I mean to God, sits over another verse which carries my life forward.

May our Lord, Who loves you beyond measure, minister His gentle and fierce love deep into your being as your needle dips and turns in the sewing of His wonderful Word.

Be blessed!

Like the sparrow...

Not a Bible verse as such but inspired by the beautiful teachings of Jesus, this old hymn has been playing softly in the background of my thoughts these past few days.

The knowing, a very deep knowing, that God was with us through some stressful days and nights of rain and flood these past couple of weeks, is also never far from my mind. 

Gratitude swells like a wave and at times brings me to my knees. 

Did we come away unscathed by the monsoon - no. There's repairs which have been done and more yet to do, but we are fine, we are blessed, and we have deep assurance that God's hand was upon us way before we even moved into our home in September last year. 

Physically we are very tired and sore, but spiritually we are alive and overcome with joy. 

I had these little bird shapes cut out to applique over three years ago but never got around to using them on anything (despite my plans for a tea towel at the time) and as I was clearing away water damaged items from the sewing room on Friday I came across them sealed tight in a clear zippered case. The threads were in the case as well and the shapes had already been fused to the check fabric. 

That's just like God, don't you think?

He puts a song in my heart as a reminder of how He watches over us and then leads me to a simple set of brightly coloured sparrows to stitch during the rest times between cleaning. 

Such simplicity in His love. 

Never doubt it.

If you'd like to sew some sweet sparrows the free pattern sheet is here. 

I'm hoping to slip back into ordinary blogging life next week and resume our book study on Tuesday. 

We've scrubbed through almost 20 litres of vinegar and a bottle of clove oil, have filled the trailer twice with items for the rubbish tip, secured a tarpaulin over the missing ceiling, ripped up our bedroom and Mr E's study carpet, thrown away curtains from three rooms which were riddled with mould as well as some handmade items of mine which were also found to be growing.

Floors, walls, our dining chairs, the outdoor couches - black mould over them. The coffee table and bedroom side table which Mr E made for us while at university were green. 

Some things we can save and some we cannot. 

But they are just 'things' and apart from a few minor health reactions afterwards we ourselves are doing very well. 

You know, I'm very proud to be living in this town. The people just get on with what needs to be done and in the midst of such an awful experience which will be felt for months to come they will find something to laugh about and ask if you need a hand. I don't think Mr E and I have ever met and talked to so many strangers in all our life. Crisis either draws people together or tears them apart. What I have seen most of in Townsville through this is the pulling together of neighbours, strangers, communities and family. 

Mr E's school and most other schools in our town are still closed due to extensive flood damage. He, along with other teachers, will return to school on Monday and begin working on whatever areas they can in preparation for resuming lessons when buildings are safe enough for students to return. 

Please continue to pray for those in Townsville and surrounding areas who have lost their homes, contents or livelihood as a result of the monsoonal floods which are now being declared a one-in-500 year catastrophe. 

His eye is on the sparrow,

and even more so upon you.

Hugs

The wandering of desire...

Each January as you scroll through various blog posts or social media pages you’ll probably notice a common thread is spoken of  – ‘my word for the year’- and the blogger or writer will share that word with their readers and occasionally elaborate on why they’ve chosen it.

A number of years ago I too followed that trend but for the past five or six years I’ve not even thought about it. Probably because I know God has been taking me through many attitude adjustments that can take a week, a month, a year or longer to be taught…so why limit Him to one a year when my life needs a regular overhaul, right?

But in early December as I was floating in our pool underneath the shade sail and next door’s overhanging lush green Poinciana branches heavily weighted with hundreds of brilliant red blooms, God spoke right into my heart.

“Use what you already have”

That was it, just those words, no explanation or elaboration.  

In an instant “use what you already have” was engraved upon my mind and tattooed into my heart so deeply that they have echoed into my thoughts every day since.

At first I thought this only had to do with my designing in 2019, that I needed to re-release the older designs already in my pattern catalogue but as the weeks have passed by He has repeated this directive into many other areas of my life until even my husband has noticed that I repeat those words daily in one situation or another.

In this very consumerist and advertisement saturated society we are easily seduced by the desire to acquire newer, better, prettier, more fashionable, limited edition and supposedly 'can't live without this' items every day because no matter where you are there is an advert for something to buy and human nature is attracted by what pleases the eyes even if it’s unnecessary, wasteful or detrimental to the budget.

We may also be tempted to try expensive recipes after watching one of the numerous cooking shows that now fill the television screen each night, feeling as though our everyday cooking or baking is boring even though healthy everyday meals are what your family enjoy. 

If you look closely in to your pantry will you discover it is groaning under the weight of more and more ingredients you use once or perhaps never open?

Or what about being seduced into buying exercise equipment delivered to your door because you feel embarrassed to go to a gym - and yet you can lift cans for weights, use wide elastic for resistance exercise, dance to your favourite music for a higher intensity workout, and many other inexpensive ways to work your body (check online for them) - all for free.

When we moved into our home last September I had to give a lot of things away as we have very limited storage here so unless I have a place to put something I cannot buy it. Garage sales are where we buy plants or garden stuff these days, not indoor household items. If I do spy something I’d like for the house it takes me a while to consider where it can go and do I need to get rid of another item first to make room…and almost every time the item is passed over and I walk away. I do have a chuckle occasionally when I go through this process because it’s clear God is using our situation to give me better clarity on what I genuinely need and to consider why.

My sewing supplies were overhauled before the move, then again recently, and now I have a fresh vision for my business because in doing this I became mindful of what I have and why. I was reminded that there had long been a plan to make up kits for some of my patterns and I'd even purchased bits and pieces for that purpose yet not followed through due to lack of time and poor planning.

Now, with the Lord's instructions ringing in my ears I'm ready to do this, making use of what I already have. 

“Use what you already have” is increasingly applied to my weekly grocery shop, the meals I prepare each day, menu planning, the tools I use for cleaning, sewing, designing, gifts, home decoration, plants, clothing, reading…and the list goes on. 

It’s what I consider every day now before planning or purchasing and when I read this week’s Scripture it affirmed that this is indeed a Biblical principle to be taken seriously.

“Better is the sight of the eyes…”

(better is what you have)

“…than the wandering of desire.”

(than desiring that which you do not need or cannot afford)

Yes, I can still purchase treats! But that's the point - they are occasional treats and they will bring joy and not guilt.

Don't you love how God can change the way you look at life or live it out in just a few simple words?

Perhaps what I've shared today is a lesson you already know, one you've lived by?

But if this is new, or even a confirmation of something God has been nudging you about recently, then know I'm praying for you today as I pray for myself to become wiser in this God-given, love-gifted lesson for an abundant and satisfied life.

hugs

Overwhelmed...

Seasons of overwhelm are normal for all of us.

Some last a short time whilst others press in for far longer.

My own life this past month has increasingly stretched my reserves until right now I'm in a season of physical and mental overwhelm. 

And what I have noticed this past week is that rather than pressing in closer to seek counsel, comfort and understanding from God's Word, I've spent less time than usual in His presence. 

I've prayed much more for others as I go about my day or lay awake in the night, yet I did not often pray for myself, nor soaked in the Words of Life as I should.

Today's Scripture is one the Lord brings me back to whenever I tend to stray off course and get distracted to the point that I'm weary and overwhelmed by extra requests others make on me and which I feel unable to decline, or become so busy 'doing' that I forget to just 'be still'  in His presence and allow God's perfect peace to refresh me.

So as I close this post today I'm going to pour myself a long cool glass of ginger water and go sit in a quiet spot to open the Psalms and listen while God speaks into my heart exactly what I need to hear.

It's never too late to stop, turn around and run to Him so if you're overwhelmed too, let's both be led back to "the ROCK that is higher than I"  for some heavenly refreshing.

Bless you heaps,

Contentment...

After a few years of striving to eliminate debt before buckling down to save a good deposit for our first home, the drive we had to push harder, work harder, give more, and put money aside for future security did not alter. 

In late September we moved in to that home, we still have no debt other than our mortgage, and there is nothing urgent on the horizon. Yet until a few days ago this compulsion to save, to feel financially secure, to be extra generous and to work harder for the future was still with us. 

Earlier this month the Holy Spirit had begun nudging me into particular passages of Scripture and in my prayer time I sensed changes afoot in the area of finances so I shared this with my husband and together we prayed about it and sought the Lord for more understanding.

Well, every day for the next week a particular aspect on how to manage our finances came to mind until when we considered doing otherwise a heaviness fell on our spirit. So we agreed to trust God and pull back a bit, again waiting on His direction to become clearer.

Now you know, Blossom and I have a saying we use a lot - "God is in the details" - and this morning as my man and I discussed further revelation the Lord had made clear for us we kinda wondered if we could have some confirmation from Him, after all, this change of financial direction we were being asked to allow God to make in our lives was very different from what we've had for the past four or five years.

We sat outside with our coffee and turned on the radio to listen to a Christian program we have supported for a long time. And you'll never guess what the topic was? Finances.

Never before has this ministry had a sermon on finances so believe me when I say our ears pricked as the teaching began!

In fact the sermon was about being content with what we have right now, putting our trust in God to provide our needs tomorrow and not putting faith in our bank account or other assets. 

It touched on the need to pour our lives into relationship with Christ above all else and not allowing the desire for financial security to drive us, cause us anxiety, lure us to work harder than we need, or be a temptation to climb the career ladder because this is us building security in our own strength apart from the Lord. This is us putting confidence in our bank account, our position, our own talents and what we believe we need to be happy and secure.

Afterwards Mr E and I sat and pondered just how much God loves us that He would expand and confirm with us through a radio sermon everything He had been gradually placing on our hearts this month. I was able to acknowledged how years ago when my husband was at university and we had small children that I homeschooled, the very tiny budget I had to work with each fortnight never caused me anxiety. I trusted God with my whole heart and would be excited to see how He would provide each week during those four years of my husband's teaching degree...never did I fear, never did I see us begging bread, never were we in lack. We had what we needed and felt incredibly blessed.

It wasn't until the children left home, I was designing and Mr E was teaching, that a subconscious element of 'we can provide for our needs/wants' slowly took hold, and it was insidious because if you asked us who our provider was we would instantly answer GOD. We really did not notice the big shift in our attitude, so slow was it to manifest and take root. We worked harder and were able to give more, again outwardly we would say it was God providing for the recipient, but there was also a sense of personal satisfaction too. 

I sit here today and marvel that we did not see all this along the way, but I marvel more at our Father God who gently took hold of us and revealed in His mercy how our faith in Him had become mixed with our faith in self. 

I am humbled to be loved so much that He never leaves me where I am but at the right time molds and shapes me to be more like Christ and less like worldly Jenny. Knowing who I am inside, only God can take on such a big challenge, but boy I'm glad He's doing it.

Warts and all...that's His mission for me. 

"Tell them your life, warts and all, so as you grow and change they can see what I am doing and that nothing is too hard for Me if only they will let Me in."

God bless you wonderful human, and remember, God is in the details. Every one.

hugs,

Hospitality...

Hospitality is a big deal in the Bible. There's not too much to say about being a guest, but there's quite a lot written about how we treat guests, strangers, family and even our enemies, and in Romans 12:13 we are instructed to 'practice hospitality' so there's no out clause.

The Proverbs 31 woman in verse 15 "gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls" (notice the servant girls are being served here?) and in verse 20 "she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy."

In Genesis 18 Abraham is visited by three heavenly visitors who tell him that Sarah will bear a child within a year, but before they tell him this news Abraham runs to his herd and chooses the best calf to be prepared as a meal for his guests and then stands by under a tree as they eat.

In Hebrews 13, Paul writes "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it."

In that ancient Jewish and then the post-Calvary first church cultures, and indeed in other cultures throughout the world, extending hospitality to strangers as well as those they knew was normal - indeed, with no family nearby and no motels or hostels or a campervan or caravan park many travelers and their families would have starved if not for the natural extension of hospitality through food and lodging.

I am also reminded of a different hospitality, that of the Good Samaritan who stopped and cared for a man badly beaten, a man of a different faith whom he should not have had anything to do with, but with compassion and mercy took the man to a safe refuge and paid for his ongoing care. 

(Luke 10:25-37)

There are many more instances of hospitality being shown through the Bible and I hope you look for them, but today I'd like us to fast forward to 2018 and what hospitality means now.

Over the past twenty years or so I've noticed a huge increase in the awareness of food intolerance and allergies, dietary choices such as vegetarian or vegan, and some cultures and faiths which have restrictive diets. So at times, when it comes to having guests over for a meal or to stay for a few days, a hostess (or host) can feel quite overwhelmed with the task of providing suitable and tasty meals if the guests require a diet different from their own. For some, this will be reason enough not to extend an invitation - "It's too hard". And you know, I have felt this way too. 

But then the Lord opened the eyes of my understanding and placed a warmth and compassion in my heart to let go of that fear of overwhelm and failure (yes, it was a fear) and instead of looking at our differences to focus on our commonalities. Epiphany on a large scale for this gal!

Every day I make different meals, every few weeks I'll try something new. I've done gluten free, dairy free, paleo, vegetarian, sugar-free and vegan among other things ...and much of that without putting a label on it, that's just the way the meal came together or the recipe ran. So now I'm always able to look at the big picture, to focus on what my guests, Mr E and I have in common. Truly, it's so much easier than creating specific meals with ingredients I may not have confidence in. 

Tomorrow my middle daughter Anita will be flying 2,100 kilometres with her 4yo Aminah to visit with us. We have not seen each other for two years and the excitement is high in our family for this reunion. 

We will be together every day either at Blossom's or my home, and all meals will be prepared with love and joy - but the challenge for Blossom and I in this area is new.  You see, Anita is a Muslim and her religious dietary requirements are strict. At first Bloss and I felt that familiar sense of overwhelm take hold and panic began to creep in, shadowing the joy of our family reunion. We were Googling and praying back and forth, texts and concerns flying between our phones.

But then - GOD.

A reminder, what do you have in common? We had forgotten that Anita eats a predominantly plant based diet and so do Mr and I. We had forgotten that in a week of  my recent menu planning there was nothing that Anita could not enjoy, and that Blossom is herself an accomplished cook of healthy vegetarian fare when it is needed. We had forgotten that this visit was a gift from God (believe me) and we were not to be put off by fear of what to eat. We were to relax, trust God, and with open arms and hearts receive our daughter/sister and her own sweet child in simplicity and kindness and hospitality, not allowing the unimportant to become important, but resting in our commonality and allowing the Holy Spirit to provide everything else.

So I guess what I'm trying to share with you today is not to let fear or overwhelm hold you back from opening your home to others; do not stand back from offering a meal invitation to those who eat differently to you. 

The key thing is to "do all to the glory of God" and remember in sharing that meal or offering that spare room you are doing the same for Jesus.

How incredible a thought is that?

May your day be blessed and your heart made wise, as only Christ can do.

hugs

The blessing of weary eyes...

As the number of my years pass by, the more I have grown to know that God's Word must be where I search for life's answers, where I wrap myself in Hope, and where I weary my eyes.

King David's words in Psalm 119:123 profoundly challenge me -  

"My eyes fail from seeking Your salvation". 

 David knew the Word of God, he studied it and drank in every promise and truth with his eyes as well as his heart. I cannot imagine my eyes being so weary from reading the Word of God, yet they have often wearied from reading emails, sewing, browsing books, watching television or skimming magazines.

Having moved into our first home just five weeks ago I'm reflecting on the hidden blessings we never asked for but which some days take our breath away. Like the beautiful view from the back porch where we sit and open God's Word each morning and have our minds washed in grace, mercy, goodness and truth before we go our separate ways to work and chores. 

These days as dawn approaches I eagerly push aside the sheets, plant my feet on the floor, head to the kitchen to brew a quick coffee and step out back where one of my big old Bibles and a pair of reading glasses wait for me on the soft blue couch. Some days I read chapter after chapter, other days it's just a verse or two which leads me in to a time of personal reflection and prayer - but still, my eyes have not yet wearied from reading God's Word. 

Daily household activities will always draw me away and that is normal of course because people must be fed, washing done, floors mopped, work accomplished, but my hope for the days to come is that I increasingly choose to pick up a Bible before I reach for my iPad, phone or other reading material, that I at least rest my eyes and heart on a few Scriptures and ponder them.

It was only this morning I remembered a wonderful habit followed during our homeschool years. I would leave a Bible open on the kitchen bench at a particular chapter and as I walked past during the day I'd stop and read a few more verses. Moving on I'd consider those verses whilst folding the washing or attending to another task and as the weeks and months passed my delight in God's Word just kept growing. 

Mmmm...may be time to revisit that beautiful rhythm of daily study?

I pray the Lord will increase my love for the Bible so much that all other distractions fade away, and that my testimony one day will be that of King David's - 

"My eyes fail from the constant reading of your perfect Word, Lord."

What about you?

hugs

Saying please and thank you...

Blossom and Ross have been teaching Cully May to say please and thank you. 

Having just turned two she's begun to declare her independence more than they'd like, and ignoring instructions like "say please" or "say thank you" can wear them down, but Blossom is diligent to keep instructing their little cherub by her own example plus a great deal of patience.

As years go by I see an obvious lessening of please and thank you's in everyday life. People increasingly will push past in shops or on the street, knock you in the process, and never stop to acknowledge with a 'sorry' or an 'excuse me' - they just rush on by absorbed in their own pursuits.

Holding a door open, allowing someone to go in front of you, bringing in the neighbour's rubbish bin...the very simple things I grew up with - rarely happens now. But when it does I cannot say thank you quick enough as it's such a great blessing.

Today I would like to thank you.

Thank you for the encouragement you offer when I share things from my life and heart here on the blog.

Thank you for being real in your comments and emails.

Thank you for praying for me and my loved ones; for sending those very real encouraging hugs and messages when life is challenging; for letting me be who I am, mistakes and all; for listening when I write about this life, the universe and everything else in between; for accepting my broken humanity and the highs and lows which result from it.

In the world today there's increasingly more criticism, unkindness, jealousy, finger pointing, rudeness and bullying - reactions we never saw in the life example of Jesus. He offered correction in kindness, and loved others with so much honesty and compassion that His own people jealously marked Him for assassination. He gave all He had, and He had it all.

Mostly I'm kind, but sometimes I'm not. 

Mostly I'm an encourager, but to my shame I've also allowed jealousy to rear it's head at times.
Mostly I'm honest, but am still learning to let my 'yes be yes' and my 'no be no' without extra embellishment. (Matthew 5:37)

Mostly I'm generous, but there are days when I have to rely heavily on correction from the Holy Spirit because I'm trying to keep what I have.

Mostly I walk with Jesus, but at times I stray and He must come gather me in His arms and carry me back where He needs me to be.

Knowing this about myself, and having shared some of my many weaknesses through blog posts over the years, it means the world to me that you continue to visit and continue to encourage me.

I know none of us are perfect and we won't be this side of heaven, but let's make a decision to encourage one another every day, remembering we'll each have our good days and our bad, our Jesus moments and our earthen vessel moments. 

I'm so glad you accept me on both days. 

Be blessed this day and every day,

hugs

Seek first...

In the seasons of life when you're being tossed to and fro, when time seems to be at an all time deficit and you long for breathing space to rest, refresh and find clarity, too often those quiet times with God in prayer and in His Word are pushed aside or not given over to Him with un-hurried attention.

This is where I found myself this week. 

Too much going on, big decisions to make, voices from every direction (and many real estate agents among those voices), weariness and deadlines that keep drawing closer. 

My prayers felt weary. My time in the Word fell to a few verses each day. My hope was draining away and I wanted to throw it all in.

Then I read one verse which made me sit up and take note. 

"But seek first the kingdom of God..."

Ah, what had I forgotten amidst the mental anxieties of the previous month? Seeking Him first. 

Why was I struggling for time, for rest, for clarity? Because my mind was set on things of this world and not on things above.

Why could I find no peace? I had yoked myself to fretful thoughts and things I could not control instead of letting Jesus carry my burden and resting in Him.

But God is God, my Father, the lover of my soul, a never ending help in time of trouble - and He put the remedy for this distress before me from His Word. 

"But seek first the kingdom of God

and all these things will be added to you."

Message received, heart adjustment made.

Thank you, Lord.

hugs

Be the encourager...

Sometimes I receive emails or messages from blog readers who encourage me about the things I share in my rambling posts and devotions. By taking those few minutes to send me a hug and share a little of how this blog lifts their day they are inspiring me to be a better Jenny, a more thoughtful and appreciative person, and to seek more deeply the riches of a life lived for Jesus.

Unlike ripples in a pond which clearly spread in widening circles after a pebble is tossed into the water, when we take time to encourage each other we rarely see how far that blessing will travel, but believe me, it does travel.

When we encourage, we are teaching others to encourage. 

When we inspire, we help others to inspire.

When we offer genuine praise, we are building one another up.

When we serve with a full heart, we are walking in humility and displaying Christ in our character, just as He who made Himself a servant displayed to us through His own example when He walked and lived among men.

But there are times when we do not stop to think about another, our mind being self-focused on our own agenda or troubles. We probably have no intention of being mean or careless with our words and actions, yet we are, and instead of being an encourager we stamp on others with our heavy boots of thoughtlessness. 

Yes, perhaps we're having a bad week or life is nothing more than a weary hike up Struggle Hill - but we can't use that as an excuse for our behaviour and responses. We just can't. 

Christ hung on a cross, naked and shamed (Hebrews 12:2), yet still showed compassion (Luke 23:34). 

This past year I've come to appreciate some lovely bloggers who share from their lives a wealth of encouragement to others with no intention of personal gain, only a desire to extend kindness, inspiration and a cheer from the sidelines.

Imagine if we all offered encouragement like this in our day to day lives?

I think of the checkout operator at my local supermarket, the lady who delivers our parcels, the neighbour we haven't yet gotten to know, and even the people we see so often that they may have become invisible.  

A few kind words, a thankful gesture, a welcome and grateful smile...these are gifts of encouragement that cost us nothing, but may mean the world to the person receiving it. 

Just some food for thought in the week ahead.

Hugs

Mothering and the after effects...

It's been a week since I last posted...a very tiring and painful week actually, especially Saturday and Sunday. Each day contained a measure of physical activity that over the course of last week left me unable to even get off the bed by Saturday afternoon. I didn't read the signs of extreme fatigue until it was too late and only later realised that spending two hours walking around a camping expo in the blazing 32C (90F) sun at the weekend with my beloved was the worst decision made in quite a while.

Blossom and her precious little girls came over yesterday and we chatted about the extreme exhaustion mothers of babies and toddlers experience, how endless it can seem when you're in the midst of it, yet you have to keep going, putting one foot in front of the other even when it seems the house is falling down around you, or the washing to be done and the washing to be folded have taken growth hormones.

Last night when the house was put back in order (Cully May is a whirlwind especially when Poppy and her are playing Thomas the Tank), dishes done and the animals tended to, I sat quietly to reflect on the many motherhood topics my daughter and I had covered in our relaxed Sunday afternoon conversation. It occurred to me that the topics which directly affect her life today indirectly affect my life too.

From age 17 to 35 I was either pregnant or nursing a baby/toddler. Through all those years life rarely stood still, I barely caught my breath, and as with almost every other mother on the planet my senses were constantly on alert. 

Life was always go, go, go or be prepared to go.

And I don't think that switch in my brain was ever adjusted, not even when our home became an empty nest. My activity/sensory/preparatory switch was permanently stuck on GO and it took a long conversation on various topics with my youngest daughter Blossom to highlight that point.

Sitting opposite each other on our old turquoise couches, me cuddling 20 month old Cully May as she drank a bottle and stuck tiny fingers up my nose, and Blossom nursing 2 month old Rafaella to sleep, I looked at her young mother life through the lens of my much older mother life and sensed the imbalance.

It doesn't take long to fall into a habit if you repeat the same pattern over and over, and this can be good or bad. Experts agree that it can take 66 days to form a good habit, such as walking for exercise or choosing a healthy option for lunch, but just 21 days to break that habit. 

But a habit created over two decades??

I think my 'be prepared now/get up and go immediately' habit simply became the normal way of approaching life and therefore I never stopped to consider that at this stage of life it was no longer valid.

It's like when you're used to cooking meals for a family and even thought one by one they leave home you still cook the same amount (my husband has had to draw my attention to this many times over the years), but it feels natural so you do not question yourself. Until we moved house last September I would simply pack up the extra food and drop it around the corner to Blossom, but after moving we usually only saw each other once a week and it fairly soon became clear I needed to bake less and cook smaller portions of our main meals to avoid wastage of both ingredients and dollars.

So with that example in mind I transferred this thinking across to my life as it is today.

No longer young and raising children of varying ages, it appears I'm still pushing my mind and body to function beyond it's limits. My brain is still set to GO and I'm naturally functioning in 'be prepared' mode. 

And even though I purposefully seek for pockets of peace in each day and have scaled back much of what I was doing a year ago, my 'natural inclination' is still to be on alert, not let anyone down, and be ready to go at a moment's notice. So there is this 'mental tension' day in and day out which I've not thought of as being an avoidable stress because to me it's quite normal. It's how I've felt for as long as I remember.

This gentle epiphany over the past 24 hours has turned my life on it's end. The striving, roaring, ceaseless tension which was as much a part of me as is eating, drinking or taking a shower, has an off switch and it was always in my control to use it.

Truly, I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit in my life. I am so thankful Jesus left us with God's Spirit to reveal hidden truths we, in our (too-busy) humanity, often overlook. I am in awe of the LOVE our Father pours out on our lives, into every nook and cranny, even when we are not aware we needed it.

I had no idea until yesterday that my life had become so burdensome with habits that were no longer needed. And today, well, it feels like a window was thrown open and a caged bird flew free - from being bound, to spreading wide it's wings on an updraft of fresh free air.

I wonder, are you living a habit, albeit once a good habit, that is no longer needful?

Is there a door before you that needs to be opened so you can fly free?

Pray, ask God to show you.

"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name,

He will teach you all things..."

John 14:26

This "Simply Love" stitchery pattern is my gift to you.

Perfect for Mother's Day, or maybe you'll stitch it for yourself as a reminder that God is LOVE and He loves you so much He wants to show you a better way to live this life and let go of what's no longer needed.

Download the pattern here.

I'm breathing again, my expectations have shifted, and my heart is lighter. 

So what's ahead now I've let go of that mental tension? 

Not sure, but God knows and finally I'm in a clearer state of mind to find out.

Bless you heaps,

Grace, it always comes back to grace...

Recently I mentioned that I regularly buy myself a bunch of flowers when I see them on sale at our local supermarket. Usually, especially if they are carnations, they have a good seven days of beautiful display once placed in a vase with fresh water.

In a private conversation later, the person I was speaking to shared that for her flowers were an unnecessary indulgence, that she could more wisely use that money on needful things. She wasn't being judgmental or mean, just expressing why she couldn't bring herself to purchase flowers.

I didn't respond immediately, but inwardly prayed for God to give me the courage to share my story about flowers, and why they are a significant expression and celebration of the healing power Christ has brought to my life.

When she heard my testimony she apologised for her remark, but really there was no need as each of us is genuinely ignorant to the reasons we do, or don't do, certain things. I don't agree with some of her responses to life, but that's because I have not walked in her shoes and lived her experiences, just as she has not followed in mine.

In fact everyone we meet will be carrying some form of emotional or habitual baggage from the past that influences their choices, behaviours and beliefs, and from the outside looking in you or I may be tempted to question why they respond, react and do certain things that make no sense at all to us.

Living with an attitude of grace is a beautiful thing, and along with mercy and kindness it is the part of God's character I desire most of all...but it does not come naturally, it comes only after immersing myself in His Word day by day by day, and yet still I fail at extending grace more times than I'd like. Grace, mercy and kindness are attitudes (and heart choices) which need refining over a lifetime so it's important you know that I will never in this life get it right all the time. 
Neither will you, and neither will the people in your life now and those you are yet to meet be any different.

I'm learning not to be offended when others criticise or question my choices. I'm learning to not jump in quickly with my own judgments but to step back and remember to show them the same respect and grace I'd like shown me. Again, I'm a work in progress and will continue to get it wrong sometimes, but being aware of my own humanity highlights to me the humanity in someone else, and this helps me to show grace and respect even when I may not understand the 'why' behind what they do - which could be anything from extreme frugality to liberal acquisition of fabrics or shoes.

You know, when my husband entered university to begin a Bachelor of Education degree in his 30's, we lived on a tiny income with three children at home, two of whom I was homeschooling. Each fortnight when I did the groceries every cent was carefully allocated as I followed a well thought through budget-friendly menu plan and shopping list, but there was one indulgence we gave ourselves. Good coffee. There was a reason behind it, but that reason is between my beloved and I.

When guests would visit for a meal or cuppa there was often a remark made about  'that' coffee and how we could afford it on our meager income. True, it was an extravagance, but it was our extravagance balanced by the thrifty areas of life they did not notice - the corners we cut, the frugality we chose in clothing, furnishings, purchases, gifts etc.
 I made our own bread, cordials, jams, cooked everything from scratch, grew as much of our salad vegetables and greens as I could, and rarely did we buy takeout apart from $2 worth of hot chips for Saturday lunch sandwiches (a treat, smothered in tomato sauce by our children).
That good coffee was a blessing and we never felt bad about it. It was something special we purchased for each other and knew God did not mind, in fact, I think He was happy that we gave each other this one small gift during the four years of University.

Today we have a brilliant coffee machine that grinds the beans and makes our daily cappuccinos, lattes, iced coffees or doppios. Good coffee is still our gift to each other!
But we still live thrifty in other areas and I still cook almost everything from scratch.
And I also buy myself flowers these days for a very precious-to-me reason, a reason that matters to God.

I guess what I'm trying to say today is to remember that every one of us has a story, and that story may be one of deep scarring, pain, loss, overcoming, joy, abandonment, poverty, riches or immense change. Our stories quite often define the expression of our nature and though God steps in to heal and teach and correct, some things will still leave a mark which will influence our choices.
All of us will do something that another person would not (I am not talking about sinful things or breaking the law)  like me buying flowers or our choice to enjoy good coffee, and that's fine.
That's us. That's them.

But grace, show grace.

Look at your own life and realise it has it's very own quirks and nuances and habits that your neighbour will think odd or mean or wasteful or extravagant. It isn't something to judge or criticise, it's just me, you, them. In our humanity.

God bless you,

The greatest love...

The very first gift my husband bought me as newlyweds was a new Bible, and the second gift was a silver cross.

That Bible, affectionately known by Blossom as my 'fast-flickin' Bible because it's so worn and full of notes that I can find any passage very quickly, is falling apart from years of love and use. 

The silver cross, a relatively plain but not small cross, never left my neck for more than a decade and it too became battered and bruised through years of wear. 

But one day I looked on the cross with different eyes, letting the horror of Christ's crucifixion, the agony and pain and betrayal it signified, wash away my desire to wear that silver cross and so I took it off and packed it away. I no longer wanted to carry the symbol of an instrument of torture on my body.

Many years followed and each time we moved house, town or state, I'd look once more upon that battered silver cross and ponder what it stood for before replacing it with my other jewellery and packing it up in a moving box.

Then one day something changed. One move brought a change. Again we were moving house, and I held that silver cross in the palm of my hand and cried. The emotions I'd once felt washed away and all I saw in it was LOVE. 

The greatest LOVE.

The battered and neglected silver cross was placed back on a chain and as it rested on my chest I felt a surge of love and gratitude that filled me from head to toe. 

Satan can turn any beautiful thing into a source of discouragement, despair, rejection and pain. He relished the cross as it stood high on Calvary and he delighted in the agony of my Lord as he hung, clinging to life, bleeding, battered, disfigured from extreme physical torture. Satan stood ready to glory in his own victory as Jesus laboured with each final breath.

But that's not the end of the story. The life which slipped away from Jesus as he offered up His Spirit to the Father was not an end, not a victory for the powers of darkness...no, not at all!

In dying Christ destroyed the enemy's hold, snatching back the keys to the Kingdom, and in rising from the dead He stood triumphant over satan and opened wide the way back into the arms of God, a way marked out in His own blood shed for us. 

What satan meant for evil, God meant for good. 

What satan devised in pure hatred, God required for the fulfilment of pure LOVE. 

So for me, the cross today is a testament to LOVE, a LOVE that no man can be, no man can give, no man can create. 

This LOVE was paid for with Sovereign blood, and when the stone was rolled away that blood washed away satan's power...it washed over me, it washed over you, it cleans and repairs and renews and refreshes and instead of taking life it gives life. Life eternal. A LOVE life. A love gift that will never lose it's power to redeem the lost.

I first drew up this design in a simpler style just after I had that revelation of LOVE for the cross and shared it on my blog when I was just dipping my toes into the world of pattern design.

It was given to a friend who had just come to know Jesus and I've wanted to stitch it again ever since.

Last week I refined it, giving it more LOVE, a reflection of the increasing LOVE I have for Jesus with each passing day of my life. 

If you would like to stitch "The Greatest Love" please accept this as very small gift of love from me, flowing from the LOVE of our Saviour who gives the greatest gifts of all.

Download the free pattern here.

Your sister in Christ,