Faithfully waiting....

The LORD is my shepherd; 

I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil.

For You are with me,

Your rod and Your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Psalm 23

This was the second memory section of the Bible I learned in primary school after the Lord's Prayer, and in the darkness of many nights as a child and later as an adult, they comforted me time and again.

Even though I loved Jesus and asked Him in to my heart at age 9, I didn't truly 'know' Him until 1991 when at age 32 I fell head over heels for my Saviour King and promised to follow Him all the days of my life.

It was only then that I realised He'd been listening as I prayed the Lord's Prayer each night for the past twenty three years, that He'd heard me sing the 23rd psalm over and over when fear and anxiety stormed my life, that He'd caught every tear and done all He could to draw me out of darkness and into relationship with Him. 

All that time He'd waited for little ol' me. 

For twenty three long years the Lord's Prayer and the 23rd Psalm were my anchors, what I clung to for hope and comfort, but now I embraced Jesus as my true anchor, my fulfilled hope, my greatest source of comfort. 

After what seemed like a lifetime crying out with pain, loneliness, fear and uncertainty, Jesus became my healer, my source of living water, life everlasting, goodness and mercy. 

This week I read Psalm 23 for the first time in ages and my eyes welled with tears.

Looking back on 26 years walking with Jesus I was overcome with the deepest emotions of gratitude and love for the steadfast assurance of what lies ahead...dwelling in the house of my Lord forever.

I truly pray that you know just how deeply He loves you too and if perhaps you've forgotten, that He would remind you as only a Saviour can.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine, oh what a foretaste of glory divine...

Your sister in Christ,

The tooting of a horn...

Every few months I re-read the book of Matthew, paying specific attention to the Sermon on the Mount, and just as with all my Bible studies I like copying the Scriptures which stop and make me think into my journal.

This past week I was struck by three things Jesus tells us to do in secret (chapter 6) - He said we should GIVE in secret, PRAY in secret, and FAST in secret - each time closing that directive with these words, "And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

I'm pretty sure it was the Holy Spirit who drew my attention to this because the day before reading this portion of the sermon on the mount I had told someone about a series of 'giving' incidences from a year or two ago, gifts which up until this week only my husband, myself and the recipient knew about. 

As soon as I told my friend I wished I hadn't. But there they were, the words were spoken, the 'secret' let out, and it wasn't for holy and righteous reasons because there are none and I had only achieved the tooting of my own horn.. 

This social media age we live and participate in challenges me on a daily basis with the perception I gain of people I know well, people who are just an acquaintance, and others I know only through my work or reputation.

I am actually shocked at what some women write on their Facebook page, the language they use, the bitterness or accusatory attitudes they feel a desire to express, even using guilt to gain sympathy. It's as though they can't see beyond their own reflection and simply want all attention to come their way. They want to tell us how great they are, and usually by tearing down others or dropping hints that they're upset with someone.

Thankfully I can move passed their posts, unfriend them and stop to read encouraging words, join in celebrations, learn something educational and see what my family have been up to with their young ones...but this passage in Matthew made me ponder what I truly show in my own life to those looking in from the outside. How do they  view me?

Promoting my 'giving' the other day was all about shining a halo over mine and my husband's character, and a little bit of bitterness even seeped in because I didn't feel the recipient had honestly appreciated the gifts, so what does that truly reveal about me? No wonder the Holy Spirit didn't let that incident slide.

As a designer I find it difficult to promote my patterns, something a few designers I know also struggle with, yet this is our occupation, our 'bread and butter' income, so shining light on what we have created for our customer base is necessary. Our Lord Jesus was a carpenter and even He was paid for His work and would have needed to show his customers the quality of His workmanship. 

Our public business is different from the private women we are, it's something we cannot do in secret nor avoid, but it does put us in the public eye and therefore (I believe) we are held to higher account with regards to character.

As a Christian in business for herself I feel that weight often, so my lack of humility the other day was deserving of a talking to by God and I'm more aware than ever that I need to heed Jesus and keep such things in secret 'forever', to not allow a loose tongue to rob me of the Father's reward nor draw an unwholesome stain on my character.

Why am I telling you this today?

I think God wants me to keep these Sunday blog posts real and to have enough courage that I can honestly admit some of the pits which have tripped me up in this walk to the finish line whilst also declaring His faithfulness to gently correct and forgive.

Maybe you've fallen into the same trap as me and made a show of your good deeds for others to see or hear about? Confess it to our Father, repent and be washed clean and free. He doesn't hold a grudge, when He forgives us our sin is so far removed that He doesn't remember it ever again. Cool huh?

You know what I also wondered when I studied Matthew 6? 

How many of the Father's rewards have I missed in my Christian walk because I didn't keep particular actions secret?

Thank you Holy Spirit for not letting me get away with this one, for loving me so much that You want me to change for the better and receive rewards far greater than man's praise can ever offer.

Your sister in Christ,

Run don't walk...

Most seasons we take the stresses of life in our stride.

Then a season arrives where it seems that a bombardment of trials, griefs, challenges and attacks are coming at us from all sides. We feel unprotected, unarmed, and overwhelmed. 

These seasons often hit without warning, like an earthquake, so our 'world' shakes around us and we may lose our footing.

Other times we can see the tsunami of circumstances heading towards us and running to hide is the option we look for.

This past week I've received a number of emails from precious hearts who are struggling with earthquakes and tsunamis in their lives, circumstances that have challenged their present and their future, events that have sent them to the very heart of our Lord, Jesus Christ. 

On the flip side, this week I've also received a few emails attacking me personally and professionally, each totally unrelated and on a different topic than the other. Sadly, each one was uncalled for and based on false facts, though nobody stopped to question me on those facts before aiming their weapon and firing.

 I was already overwhelmed by some personal and health issues needing to be faced this month, so these emails knocked me when I was already down. 

But this is life, you know. The unexpected will often catch us unawares, not waiting till we are in a good head space, healthy or spiritually strong.

This is why we need Jesus.

This is why we need the Father.

This is why we need the Holy Spirit.

Who's compassionate heart can understand our troubles and carry our prayers to God? Jesus.

Who can wrap us in arms of love and cradle us close to His heart? Father God.

Who can speak the words of healing and strength from God's Word and impress their truth upon our hearts and minds? The Holy Spirit.

Are you overwhelmed?

"Lead me to the Rock which is higher than I."

Run, don't walk.  Leap into the Father's arms and let His words of light shine into your darkness.

Be blessed,

Are you ready?

A simple question.

Three little words, yet they carry eternal significance.

Are you ready?

If Christ came back tomorrow would your life reflect Him, would your heart be clean and your mind given over to Him? Could you say that you love Him with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength? (Matthew 22:37, Deuteronomy 10:12)

Are you ready for His return?

My husband and I have this question on our hearts and it's given us much food for contemplation and prayer recently.

Are we ready? Are we truly ready? 

Do we love Jesus with all our heart, soul, mind and strength? 

Or do we love the things of this world more than Him? We hope not, but we're putting our lives under closer examination because it never hurts to make time for a truth/reality check so we can correct our life and spiritual course. (1 John 2:15-17)

Have you done this recently?

hugs

A prayer for each of us...

My husband and I have had to make some big decisions lately, and they weren't easy. In fact it feels like we're wandering in the dark without any clear direction, especially with regards to one very important issue.

There's no real right or wrong answer to our dilemma, but it could be life changing and that's why we want to be clear and sure on what path to choose.

Have you been challenged like this? 

I think choosing between something wrong and something right (through the eyes of Scripture) is much easier than choosing between two good paths. 

We desire to see further into the future to be certain our eventual choice will bring the best outcome, yet that's not what God is offering us. He seems silent. He is silent. 

Patience to wait upon the Lord is something I try to cultivate in my heart - so that it's natural, so I'm never expecting an immediate answer or miracle and probably so I'm not disappointed, but the silence in the midst of waiting is hard.

Years ago it occurred to me that if I don't know what's going on, and God stays silent, then my adversary the devil has no clue either. 

God's 'plan in motion' has been hidden to protect me and its important that I trust Him, have faith in what He's doing and await His perfect timing. I tell you truly, there was great peace in grasping this because I knew without doubt that God had not turned His back on me but was at work 'above and beyond' in ways I would never comprehend.

And it would all be for my good and for HIS glory.

This week's Scripture was a timely reminder for my husband and I that we need to put every hope in Christ, we need to trust Him, follow His lead, read the Word and let Him teach us through it. We can be sure that in His perfect timing He will show us the path to take, He'll point us in the right direction and we shall go forth.

When I saw Psalm 25:4-5 in the signature line of an email from a blog reader (thank you, Jacque) it was quite clearly a word in season, in fact it was prayer to pray every day.

I pray it brings peace and hopeful expectation to you as well.
In fact, I've made this into a free printable so we can frame it as reminder of hope during silent times. Download it here. 

be blessed,

Trust...

Because of the hype, emotion, hope, expectation and expense associated with a 'dream' wedding these days, I often wonder about the bride and groom's long term plans - will they put as much attention and care into their marriage?

Many years ago Proverbs 31:11-12 became my goal as a wife, the compass I decided to use in order to maintain a right course through the journey of my own marriage.

It's wise to remember that marriage is not a wedding, just as a house is not a mortgage payment. It's one small part of something much bigger and grander, something far more challenging and yet astonishingly wonderful. When I look back on the day Mr E and I exchanged our vows the thing which stands out most is the commitment he made to me, standing at the altar before God, and the evidence today of his decision to live it out this last quarter century. In fact his commitment today is far greater than it was then.

Every day I thank God for my husband. Every day I feel unworthy of his faithful, joyful and forgiving love. Every day I look in the mirror and try to see past my aging smile into the blue eyes he wakes to each morning and wonder if they reflect the depth of love and respect and honour I have for him?

I know what I see when I look into his eyes.

Evidence that he loves Jesus. 

And because of that love there is boundless respect, delight, love, trust, commitment and care given to me.

We didn't have a big wedding, in fact I made my dress and our church family all brought a plate for the wedding meal. A friend from university had his brother bake our cake, another friend took the photos, and I borrowed the shoes, veil, gloves and bouquet. 

It was a simple event, a wondrous and happy event, a day we cherished. Promises were made and given before God, and people we loved were there to witness and celebrate our union, but we didn't fully appreciate that the wedding was nothing like the marriage would be.

Marriage is a page by page story you write from the heart, moment by moment decisions and choices that will build the union stronger or tear it apart until only shreds remain.

We didn't easily get to where we are in our relationship today. Many times over these past 25 years we've been pulling in opposite directions, not walking in our God given roles, seeking to be the one who was right and to have our own way. There are many tears, sorrows, losses and grief scattered along the highways and byways of this marriage, BUT...we stayed committed. 

We chose to forgive. 

We sought Jesus to show us a better way, and I read Proverbs 31:11-12 and took it to heart.

 Honestly, the teaching in those Scriptures changed me for the better more than anything else.

I love my man, and therefore I want his heart to safely trust me!

I want him to have no lack of gain.

I want to do him good and not evil all the days of my life. 

So I take one day at a time and praise God for the opportunity to be that wife, knowing there are days I'll fail and days I'll soar. The most important thing is that I keep this close to my heart and do my utmost to live it out. 

All glory to God,

As He loved us...

When I'm sick, in pain, under duress or simply exhausted from lack of sleep or overwork, I can become a snappy, irritable gal. It's not my intention during those times to react harshly to those I love, but sometimes I do.

I love this verse, walk in love.

As He loved us. 

So what needs to change for me to be that loving example of Jesus?

It's not my attitude because I believe wholeheartedly that I should walk in love as He loved me.

I guess then, that there's an underlying cause of my harsh responses which must be examined in order for there to be a change.

Sickness and sleep - sometimes there's nothing I can do to alter sickness, but keeping myself healthy with a fresh food diet and some gentle exercise every day, regular restful sleep patterns and time in the Word, will strengthen my immune system, bring wisdom to my state of mind, and build my spiritual muscle. The end result will be less illness, stronger immune system, and a calmer, more refreshed and caring Jenny.

Physical exhaustion - I push myself too hard with work at home and work in my business, forgetting to apply the brakes before I crash and burn out. Just because I can doesn't mean I should. Pacing my energy in the hours I have each day would be far wiser than running till I drop. 

Simplifying my home and work responsibilities is something I've been working on lately and already I see (and feel) an improvement in my breathing, sleep, and how I respond to important issues with the people around me. I expect an even greater improvement in the months ahead if I continue to make positive changes.

It's important to address our spirit and the sin within when we struggle to walk in love, but don't forget to assess your physical health as well because unless we have a caring and nurturing spirit/body balance, walking in love may continue to be a uphill climb.

Bless you heaps

Blessing others (with free stitchery)...

Driving by the beach at sunset last night my husband and I shared how each of us had become so tired of the evening news on the television and it's focus on negativity and fear. Rarely was there a positive, bright or inspiring story to be told.

Our town has the highest unemployment rate in the state, and the highest youth crime in the state. We've had major loss of jobs in the mining sector, a nickel refinery closure, and the flow on to local businesses which seem to be closing their doors at an alarming rate. 

I thank God we have an income, but I feel great sorrow for those families and individuals who are struggling through such difficult economic times and find themselves bombarded with hopeless negativity from the media, a vocal and visual paintbrush of 'what's wrong in the world'. 

It's awful to be without hope, to have all the world's woes paraded before your eyes day after day when your own life is in so much turmoil. 

Wouldn't it do a heart greater good to balance the world's crises with stories of inspiration, goodness, hope and courage? Perhaps we need to share our own stories of kindness, answered prayer, perseverance and hope, when we sit with family and friends or chat with the checkout girl at our local supermarket? Changing from complaints about the election, weather or price of fuel might mean we need to think about what uplifting things we could talk about but it would be so worth it to put a smile on another's weary and tired face.

You may know a friend or neighbour currently facing serious hardships, perhaps it's a member of your own family? 

Consider what kindness you can offer them. 

A fresh baked cake; an outing to the park with sandwiches and a flask of soup shared on a blanket in the sunshine; an ear to hear without offering advice - just listening (don't we all want that sometimes?); babysitting for a day; mowing the lawn; turning up at the door with ice-cream and a pot of daisies for their garden; or even a simple invite to come stitch at your place.

Simple things are often the best as they are more easily accepted, but also because there's less pressure on you (and me) so we're more likely to reach out.

I designed this blessing stitchery a few years back and today I'd like you to have it as a free gift. You could stitch it for someone who needs a blessing (visual reminders like this have saved me from falling apart some days), or print it up and make a kit to give a sewing friend who's fallen on difficult times.

Pray about it, God will show you what to do.

Download "The Lord Bless You" here.

Click the Pinterest button at the top left of the photo too. Let's share this free stitchery far and wide and hopefully bless many hurting souls.

Designing by His grace alone,

Asking for wisdom...

"I don't know what to do!"

"What if I make the wrong choice?"

"How will we get by this month?"

"What was I thinking?!"

"Can we manage this?"

"What if I fail?"

Heard any of these concerns lately? Spoken them out yourself? Our lives are a continual turning of one challenge to another, and as much as we'd like to tick our pressures off a to-do list and toss the completed list in the trash, it rarely works out that way.

Over the past year my email inbox has become increasingly filled with offers and questions. Most of the questions are from readers who ask  'how to do this' or 'what do you use for that' type of questions. The questions have been answered here on the blog many times and two have their own linked buttons in my sidebar for easy reference, so I can easily give the reader a link to follow and let them uncover the answers they need. No stress.

But the offers of opportunity? That's completely different.

I'm a quiet, dare I say "hermit" type person, who spends most of her life at home. I rarely go out, enjoy being alone, but also love spending relaxed time with my husband, daughter, and two close friends who live nearby. I like my world to be steady, fairly predictable, and to flow at a comfortable pace.

This need to be calm, the desire to feel I've got things under control and manageable, is tripped up when invitations and opportunities are placed before me. 

I have OCD, and though one part of my mind can see benefits in certain offers made, the other part of my brain spins into a panic because I can't see what the outcome will be.

So how do I cope?

James 1:5 

I know I cannot trust my own wisdom because I'd choose to do nothing, go nowhere, follow the safe route in my mind - but God created me with a bigger picture than hiding my life away. 

The thing with God is that He works with us where we are, right now, in our current circumstances. I still marvel that He gifted me with the ability to design at age 50 and did it within my home environment where I am most relaxed and confident. He pushes me, yes indeed, but it's gentle, a hand behind lovingly urging me to trust him and move forward to the next stage. When I walk in His way I rarely stumble, when I walk in mine I often do. 

The opportunities placed before me this past year have been lain before Jesus and left there until my prayer for wisdom is answered. I've learned to say no without offence (mostly) and yes with confidence (mostly), and though I still feel anxious about committing to a yes decision I remind myself that HE GIVES WISDOM GENEROUSLY

and I can safely trust Him to guide and carry me should the need arise. 

Is it easy? No. 

It's a habit to practice and path to follow without distraction (distractions which come in the form of self doubt and taking your eyes off God's truth) but the more you practice the more natural it becomes.

Need wisdom today?

Ask Him.

hugs

I will not fear...

It's easy to feel overwhelmed when the curve balls of life feel like they're aimed at you day after day, year after year. 

Trials and concerns affect every one of us at one time or another, in fact I've never met a person immune to them, but some seasons in life hammer us with troubles that arrive back to back or piled one atop the other, causing upsets and emotions we may find difficult to contain. 

A sense of hopeless anxiety, darkness and despair threatens to swallow us, and perhaps, if you're like me, sometimes we wish we could close our eyes and not wake up.

When I feel this way it's a red flag that I'm not spending enough time with Jesus; it's a sure sign I've closed my ears to His comfort and strength and bought into the lies of a world with no answer. 

If this is your life at the moment, if you have challenges which make no sense and life feels out of control, go to Jesus. Fall at His feet and let your tears wash over them. You don't have to be strong on your own, you need only to offer Christ your weakness because in your weakness He will make you strong. (2 Cor 12: 9-11)

He is our Helper, our Saviour, the Lover of our soul, our Redeemer and one true Friend. 

Give it up to Him, let it go....do not fear.

Be blessed,

Thank you...

I've been wanting to say that for a while now.

"thank you"

Thank you for the encouragement you offer when I share things from my life and heart on Sunday.

Thank you for being real in your comments and emails.

Thank you for being a family in Christ and praying for me and my loved ones.

In the world today there's increasingly more criticism, unkindness, jealousy and bullying - reactions we never saw in the life example of Jesus. He offered correction in kindness, and loved others with such so honesty and compassion that His own people jealously marked Him for assassination. He gave all He had, and He had it all.

Mostly I'm kind, but sometimes I'm not. 

Mostly I'm an encourager, but to my shame I've also allowed jealousy to rear it's head a few times.
Mostly I'm honest, but am still learning to let my 'yes be yes' and my 'no be no' without extra embellishment. (Matthew 5:37)

Mostly I'm generous, but there are days when I have to rely heavily on correction from the Holy Spirit because I'm trying to keep what I have.

Mostly I walk with Jesus, but at times I stray and He must come gather me in His arms and carry me back where He needs me to be.

Knowing this about myself and having shared some of my weaknesses in a few Sunday messages, it means the world to me that you continue to visit and continue to encourage me.

I know none of us are perfect and we won't be this side of heaven, but let's make a decision to encourage one another every day, remembering we'll each have our good days and our bad, our Jesus moments and our earthen vessel moments. 

The best remedy for criticism, unkindness, jealousy and bullying is encouragement, and that's what I appreciate about you. 

"thank you" so very much

Every word is true...

An Australian politician was speaking recently and he shared his belief that God would accept things today which were long ago noted as sin when He was writing the Bible through His chosen people.

I was pretty shocked. A politician speaking on God's behalf? Really?! A politician who had changed his stance on critical issues because he needed votes?

When I got over the initial disappointment in this guy I wondered about me, about what areas of my life deny the Word of God?

The world has changed, there's no denying that.

But God has not.

He's the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. 

So in what ways have I watered down His Word, turned from His precepts, or chosen beliefs which defy His?

I believe we're approaching the last days so it's critical that I get my act together. One day I'll be standing before Jesus and will need to give account for these areas of my earthly life which do not correlate with God's Word and honestly, I'd rather get that all sorted this side of heaven, wouldn't you? 

I don't want to stand, like this politician will, and feebly explain to GOD that I knew better and could speak on His behalf.

It's time to be real about truth, and EVERY word of God proves true.

I can't argue with that, and I don't want to.

hugs

Mothers Day...

Be led in truth...

Over the past two thousand years Christianity has splintered into more denominations and factions than I can count. 

What makes me saddest about this is the confusion it puts into the hearts and minds of new believers, and the ammunition it gives non-believers to aim at us.

I can't tell you what denomination to follow, and you can't influence me either. 

I may not agree with some of your theological teachings and you may not agree with mine. 

But we Christians, we followers of Jesus, have each been adopted into one family under God through the shed blood of Jesus Christ. We were redeemed though sinners and made clean through Christ's sacrifice, death and resurrection. Not through any power of our own, but through HIS atoning grace.

Compared to Jesus, we are no better or worse than each other. 

We are all imperfect, prone to sin day by day, and carry life legacies which influence our actions, responses and beliefs. 

None of us, not one, is righteous enough to teach total truth. No single Christian denomination on earth has the fullness of the knowledge of God, no preacher is perfect, and no church doctrine is faultless. 

This is why we can't sit in church and accept everything we hear.

This is why we must go home and search the Scriptures, every day discovering His truth for ourselves. 

We must, especially in these times, check everything we're taught from the Word of God in context. Don't just read the verse of the day, read a chapter before and after it...what does it mean? Who was it written to? Paint a bigger picture and understanding will come. 

When I was at Bible College I had a silly notion that if anyone had been a Christian a month longer than me then they must know more and I should take their opinions as gospel truth. I think the Lord had a chuckle over this because He gave me a lecturer that year who week by week turned my beliefs upside down! This teacher challenged me over and over with "Why do you believe that, Jenny? Why?!" 

At first I was flustered and annoyed, but gradually I came to understand he was pushing me into the pages of my Bible to seek the truth for myself. That year changed me and I've never taken a sermon on face value since. 

Example:  after moving to a new town we began attending a church where the large congregation was predominantly late teens/early 20's, an age group which suited our youngest daughter who was 17 at the time. Already disturbed by the number of people around us who were texting and playing on their mobile phones all through the service, it was the sermon we heard which caused us to not return. 

The pastor preached on the feeding of the 5,000 with his sole aim to manipulate the congregation (remember, they were in the 17-24 age group mostly) to give. He did this by teaching that the child with the loaves and fishes was a teenage boy who was very selfish and didn't want to give the disciples his bread and fish. He wanted to keep all he had to himself. Now, from there he elaborated more and more about the selfishness of young people and how giving to the Lord will give them an abundant harvest of blessing (a commitment card with a section to write their bank details was handed around near the end of the sermon).

Well, my husband, daughter and I looked at each other in amazement. We had no idea where this pastor had dug up that hidden bit of information between the pages of his Bible but it certainly couldn't be found in ours.

The story this pastor told came from John 6, and the incident with his 'selfish teenage' boy is in verse 9.

"There is a lad here which hath five barley loaves and two small fishes:"

In the original language of the Scriptures the word 'lad' is 'paidarion' which refers to a small boy, a child - not a teenager. 

How many of the hundreds of young adults sitting in church that night accepted the pastor's rendition of Jesus feeding the five thousand and a selfish teenager angry about giving his food away, and have carried his story to this day as gospel truth?

Probably most. 

I could barely find a bible in anyone's hand and afterwards there was a barbeque to attend at the beach, so I wondered if they'd even think to check this story for themselves when they got home.

I sincerely pray today's message encourages you to seek truth between the pages of God's Word where only truth resides

Remember, don't believe me. Only believe Him.

hugs

He Is God right here, right now...

The more years I walk the Christian path with Christ as my Saviour, the longer are His seasons of silence in my life.

As a young Christian I sensed Him guiding me through every day; I heard His voice speak into my heart and sometimes it was loud and audible as though He were standing right in front of me. For years there were moments when I would worship Him in prayer and song, oblivious to my surroundings, aware only that the Glory of His presence had tangibly filled the air and enveloped me in holy arms.

I thought it would always be like that, but over the past 26 years His tangible presence, still small voice, and embracing arms continued to gradually fade from my every day life. 

"He's displeased with me", I thought, "and I'm not worthy anymore."

I went through seasons of allowing this self-talk to pull me away from my normal morning habit of spending time in prayer, worship and studying the Bible, then within a few weeks or a month, I'd  run back to Him, immersing myself in Scripture and prayer for hours each day, hopeful of feeling His arms surround me once more and having everything return to 'normal' - but rarely was that hope fulfilled.

It took me years and years to figure out what I was doing wrong.

My 'normal' was to create God in the image that I liked best, an image that speaks to me, embraces me, and leads me 'out of this world and into heavenly places', an image that was tangibly accessible as soon as I bowed my head or lifted my song to heaven, an image Who answered my prayers in a manner I desired.

Such a silly girl I was, and still am sometimes.

It is *I* who have been created in His image, not He who is being created in mine.

And that is the lesson He needed to teach me; a lesson He is still teaching me.

 If going silent for long seasons in life made me question my faith in Him and Who He was then it was for a good and holy purpose because I couldn't rely on feelings anymore. I had to study Scripture, I needed to take account of all the blessings which regularly came my way (like the months of empty car spaces right next to the supermarket trolley bay when I damaged my knee and couldn't walk far last year, but which I rarely found once my knee was healed)  and I had to walk with Him in dark times trusting and believing He was right beside me all the way even though I couldn't hear or feel Him near.

Right now I'm experiencing the longest season of silence He's ever taken me through, but you know what? The more I read His Word, the more I come to understand that He's speaking all the time. There's not a single prayer that leaves my lips which doesn't have an encouragement, a comfort, a direction and occasionally a direct answer, right inside Scripture.

God is God in heaven, and He is also God on earth. There is no differentiation to our Creator. Both realms are His creation, His glory, His workmanship and ownership alone. 

So He's not silent after all, God in heaven talks to you and me through His earth-delivered Word.

I just needed to learn a new way of listening.

If this lesson was a University degree I'd have achieved it three times over as that's how long it's taken, but my prayer, my honest heart exposed prayer, is that one day I graduate with honours.

Come soon Lord Jesus, come.

hugs

Honouring our home...

From one woman to another, let me confess that up until last year there were many days when I became so absorbed in a new project that an hour 'suddenly' became four, and too soon the things which were of far more value in my life - family and home - were being neglected.

 Worse was if I followed that trend for another day or two or three.

You can just imagine the hurry and flurry I faced in the minimal hours I had left of daylight, remembering that I also work from home with my own design business,  to do washing, ironing, menu plans, shop for groceries, prepare meals and work lunches, clean floors and scrub the bathroom, right?

The saddest part about this scenario is the weariness and stress I put myself under when playing catch-up, because the examples I've noted above are just the important chores I cannot ignore. Falling by the wayside were the monthly and seasonal deep cleaning days which help us avoid clutter and bring order to what can easily become chaos. 

The more I 'played' the more I paid; since finishing up our homeschooling and stepping into the path of self-publishing designer I had created a groove for my life which wasn't working for me, but against me. It just took me a long time to figure that out.

I'm at my 'brightest' first thing in the morning which is why I tended to follow my creative streak before noon, however, come afternoon, I too often found myself putting off the inevitable household tasks because my adrenaline had dropped and I needed to sit quietly and attend to computer work with a nice cuppa while I waited for my energy to recharge. 

Around 3pm the mad dash would begin, usually with an apron tied in place, oven warming in preparation for essential wheat-free baking, washing basket under my arm, and a bucket under the tap filling with warm water to mop the floor. On any given weekday I'd be juggling five or six chores at once, willing them complete in a 90 minute time span so I'd have time to cook dinner before my husband arrived home. My days were so unbalanced in priorities that anxiety became a close but unwelcome companion, waking me through the night with a mental print out of all the chores that lay undone, the ones I never seemed to get to.

Well, that was what used to happen, but then I made a change.

Since becoming a Christian in 1991 I've been drawn to the Proverbs 31 woman; her faithfulness, diligence, creativity, organisational skills, workmanship, generosity, love of family, and the trust her husband puts in her.

Reaching deeper into her life last year I decided to model my early mornings on her. Like me she rose early each morning, but it was with a purpose to prepare for the day ahead. I've long had a normal dawn routine of reading my Bible, praying, making breakfast, juicing, and preparing my husband's work lunch, but now it was the 'after breakfast' hours which needed my attention.

Knowing that my energy is at it's peak before midday and being most productive during those five post-brekky hours, I followed Mrs Proverbs 31's lead and began to set myself certain household tasks to follow from Monday to Friday. After doing the dishes, putting on a load of washing and making the bed, I would choose one room each morning to give a thorough going over.

For example Monday is bedroom day, so after I drop Mr E at work I change the sheets, tidy and dust the bedside tables, tidy the walk in robe, remove anything that's been dumped in there and put it back where it belongs, refresh books and magazines we've been reading, and vacuum. Sometimes (as needed) I wipe down the fan, doors and skirting boards, or pull the plastic storage tubs out from under the bed to give that area a deeper clean. After this I do regular things like feed the animals, hang up the washing, make any early preparations for dinner, walk around the house with a waste basket collecting papers or scraps that can be tossed out, and water the plants on the back deck. 

You know what? By this time it's still not even 10:30am and the rest of the day holds no remorse or anxiety about keeping on track with housework, because it's all done! I can still have a rest in the afternoon if I need it, and there's time to stitch my designs too.

(for some unknown reason my morning cleaning routine is easier done wearing old clothes and joggers...perhaps a left over from my early FlyLady days?)

Every day it's a different room or living area (we don't have many) but Fridays are always reserved for the bathroom, toilet, ironing, and mopping. I shop for groceries or fresh fruit and veg after I drop Mr E at work on Monday and Friday mornings, a shopping trip of just 20-25 minutes.

Around 4.30pm I begin dinner and once Mr E and I have enjoyed that meal and discussed our day there's only the washing up left to do before I can sit back and relax with him for the rest of the evening. 

(I also don't lay awake in the middle of the night anymore with an endless list of to-dos tattooed on my eyelids!)

As crazy as it seems, I get more done now than ever and my business is running with less stress. More hours have been freed each day to work on Elefantz Designs, our house is 'running' well, Mr E is relieved with my steadily diminishing anxiety levels, and an extra bonus is being able to spend a few hours here and there each week with Blossom or drive her to and from doctors appointments.

All this to tell you I had my priorities wrong, but when I figured things out and made changes that suited my work-from-home lifestyle, life increased in satisfaction and contentment and decreased in guilt and anxiety. 

 I'd long ago lived this way, but that life faded after the children grew up and left home. What I'd always known as normal home life took a different turn when we became empty-nesters and self employed, but there's a sense now that I'm retracing my homemaker steps and appreciating what worked before. Fortunately that old rhythm and flow of domestic life was still in my head, I'd just detoured for a while.

There will be times when situations pull me away from the schedule, such as Blossom being in hospital last week, but because 95% of the time I'm following this routine those little bumps in the road don't really matter. In the big scheme of things there's a nice flow to life these days, and I'm enjoying it so very much.

Your situation will be different to mine but if any of my story rings true in your own life, take time to assess exactly what needs to change and how you can bring those changes into practice.

Of course, the very first thing to do is pray.

Father God is rather good at directing us to a better way of being. 

bless you sweet friend,

Above all else...

Something to ponder,
hugs

Blessed are we who believe...

This is what Easter is all about.

Christ died for you and me.

But death could not hold Him down, for He is RISEN.

 Christ lives,

and because of His sacrifice and triumph over satan, we have life forever if we believe in Him and accept His free, bought with His own blood, gift of eternal life.

If your life has been empty of love, empty of hope, floundering in despair and loneliness, there is a Saviour who loved you to the point of His own death.

Call on His name today.

"Jesus"

He can hear you, He can answer your call.

I'm praying for you,

No fear...

When trials and uncertainties fall upon our lives it's easy to forget we're not walking alone.

Psalm 23 has been a source of great comfort, strength and assurance for me recently, but also a reminder that I never walk alone. In whatever circumstance of life I find myself to be, HE is there. Once I allowed this truth to wash over my mind and to stir my heart, His peace that surpasses all understanding pushed aside all every fear and concern.

Have you been walking a path of fear and uncertainty, too?

My friend, HE is there with you.

Fear not, He is right beside you and will not walk away.

Trust His Word, and rest in it...let His peace flow over you.

"The Lord is my Shepherd, 

I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures;

He leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul;

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For thou art with me;

Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me."

 (Psalm 23:1-4)

Who are you serving?