Finding your hidden beauty...

 

Beauty.

It's a big word today, larger than ever I think. 

Advertisements which feature flawless air-brushed faces; every perceived imperfection removed and only a smooth palette left behind; artfully painted in the new colours of the season and teeth so white they defy explanation. Yes, that's what the media and cosmetic companies tell us makes beauty. 

Then there are the 'body beautiful' plastic surgeons with their billboards staring down at you as your wait in your car at a red light, praying it turns green quickly so you can escape the insecurities and propaganda their words are trying to type upon your subconscious.

One plastic surgeon in our city really makes me sad with his billboard tag line of "keeping our city beautiful". So is he saying that if I age gracefully, naturally, as God made me, that I am not beautiful, that I'm doing a disservice to our city by declining plastic surgery? Oh dear man, you are so very wrong.

BEAUTY - real beauty - is a grace which transforms any woman without a single stroke of lipstick, well cut dress or carefully coiffed hair. It appears from the inside out, beginning in the heart, and when the mind catches on and the two work together, beauty naturally blooms.

Darling girl, I think you will will find yourself to be far more beautiful than you ever imagined already - especially if you regularly cleanse your heart with forgiveness and honesty; tone your character with respect and kindness; moisturise your attitude with compassion and care; and style your actions in love.

Lately I have pondered beauty more than usual, deeply considering many aspects of feminine beauty - spiritual, character, physical and emotional. These thoughts, and subsequently this post, were in fact triggered by a desire to take better care of myself. 

When my husband and I sit outside watching the birds, sipping our morning coffee before he leaves for work, I always ask him "Is there anything I can do for you today?" and his reply never changes. 

"Look after yourself."

This has been a routine for many years, but it was only since my birthday in February that I took his request more seriously, as indeed this is what he wanted. With his very long working hours this year I'm home alone more and he knows his wife well, acknowledging that because I love cleaning, gardening, cooking and organising, my days are now more physically active than they used to be.

But what he did not grasp, was that I had more time to think, to consider my life and pray about it; prayers of wisdom and understanding and guidance for the weeks, months or years still ahead of me. Prayers to more fully grasp the hidden beauty in the heart of every woman and how I could encourage myself and her in pursuing and tending those seeds which do really bloom when we tend them.

So working on the inward self (spiritual and character) has been rather important of late, but I did find it spilling over into the physical and emotional as well - and surprising things came to light.

You may or may not know this, but I surround myself with colour. For as long as I can remember having colour around the house, in the decor, in my clothing, and eventually in my designs - it was deeply needful. Though I have this soft shabby chic side, the colourful side tends to always come out on top no matter how much I try to subdue it. And I have found this push and pull between the two a challenge and even confusing, especially this year. So for the first time I laid all this before God. "Help" I said, more than a few times, and over more than a hundred different things, usually at night when I was going to sleep, or in the mid-morning as I poured over His Word with a hot cup of tea. 

When you ask, He responds. It may not be that moment, or even that week, but one day a knowing suddenly appears in your thoughts, as though a curtain had been pulled back to let in the glorious light of a new sunrise.

As I've shared recently in small snippets within other posts, my six decades have borne much loss, grief, loneliness and the after effects of difficult and sometimes wrong choices. I have discovered through this recent journey, one in which I also decided to begin using my full name of Jennifer, that I hide behind colour. It's my camouflage. A vibrant shawl which wraps itself around my darkness to show the world a brighter, more joyful picture of me, a me they won't ask questions about because they're distracted by the colours. 

We can all attest to having 'aha' moments through life, epiphanies which tear away the cloak and reveal to us what's underneath. Many are the 'aha' moments for me this year, and goodness, how they are changing the various aspects of my physical and emotional self. Is it a journey of discovery you may wonder? No, I'd not call it that. It's much more like a peeling away of the things which I put between myself and the world, and as more of the layers are removed, the basic structure of who I have always been is being revealed. 

Aside from my wedding and motherhood, I am happier today that I can ever remember; a happiness that is held firmly in the grip of gentle contentment, winsome delight and a God-led discovery of the Jennifer whom He made, a girl who has been partially hidden beneath layers too colourful.

The over abundance of colours are being removed, little by little. Table runners are being washed and folded away in the linen cupboard. More plain white surfaces are appearing; more polished wood. 

I find myself wearing lovely dresses every day and no longer like the linen crop pants and tops which made up my wardrobe for so very long. 

Old brightly adorned aprons have been put aside as I begin the process of making linen aprons with an elegant edge, and I'm even looking into my unused stash of vintage Cath Kidston which has a pretty and romantic look.

I'm caring for my hands and nails, the first time in maybe thirty years! And think about hands, how very precious they are, for they hold, bake, sew, touch, wave, clap with joy and wipe away tears.

You see another way I hid myself away was by not caring about things like that. Dowdy comes to mind at times...as though I was honouring God by fading into the dust and not making an effort with myself, as though that made me humble. How strange have been the thoughts I've held within and never questioned.

There are many other changes still unfolding, more layers being unwrapped and left to drift away, more things about myself yet to discover. But what I do know for sure, is that the beauty I desire is to come forth from within.  

A woman becomes beautiful through the natural rhythms of repetitive and ordinary everyday tasks attended to with care, kindness, honesty and love. When you live with that desire and live by it, you can't help but be beautiful. 

Are you already a rose on display in all your beauty?

Or have you been hiding beneath the foliage?

Let your beauty shine forth dear one. It may be hidden, it may need some character adjustment or time at the Saviour's feet...but it is there. He put it it within you, to shine forth for His glory. 

blessings and hugs