Back in Genesis, God reveals that when a man and woman marry “the two become one” and when considering this in reference to Proverbs 31:23, it occurred to me that our character as wives will be reflected in how others view our husbands. When our character mirrors that of Christ, it will not go unnoticed, and cannot help but to show respect for our God-gifted husband.
“…let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4)
“ (wives) To be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:5)
God has given us wives quite a responsibility with regards to refining our character, respecting our husbands, building up our homes, bearing good fruit - and though times and fashions and attitudes may change, God’s Word never changes, it is the same today as it was thousands of years ago. “For I am the LORD, I change not.” (Malachi 3:6)
The Bible tells us that with our own hands we can tear down our homes, yet with righteous choices, allowing the Lord to rule our lives, believing in His perfect Word and obeying it, we can build up our homes and in doing so bring honour to our men as well as the Lord. “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.” (Proverbs 14:1)
I know some of you will want to point out that you cannot respect your man because he is an unbelieving husband, a husband who is not living out his faith in Christ, or you feel as though you’re the only one in the marriage who is making an effort…but what the Lord impressed on me recently is to examine where these thoughts come from, and much of it comes through culture, the feminist movement, and incorrect teaching. I have heard more times than I can count that people need to earn respect before we can give it and that’s why some wives refuse to respect their husband – but, tell me, where is that in the Bible? In Ephesians 5:33 we are told to respect our husbands, with no ‘earning’ involved. Just as our husbands are instructed to love us, also with no earning involved.
To respect our husbands is a choice, a choice we make to honour the Lord and the position He has given to them. It’s not open to argument or dispute (how often do we look for Scriptures to back up what we ‘want’ it to say?) – it is a simple direction given in love by God through His Holy Spirit.
Let’s not look over at our men to judge the splinters of their failings, but let us examine ourselves in the mirror of God’s Word for as Jesus taught, there are logs in our own eyes which need to be dealt with. We are not our husband’s holy spirit, ever. We are not in a position to correct their character, but we are to humble ourselves before God so He can correct our own character.
Pray for our men, yes, every day – but also pray for God to chip away our rough edges, reveal to us the sin in our own lives, especially those sins and character flaws we are blind and oblivious to, yet are on full display to the world – for just as we can see sin in the lives of those around us, so they can see it in our lives too. Pray for the Lord to enrich our marriages, for the Holy Spirit to correct our failings, for the character of Jesus to be the mirror we compare ourselves to (and not others)…pray that the Father shows us where we’ve been tearing down our homes and how we can change to build them up again, all to HIS glory.
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Till next month, God bless,